critic. "I am not going to throw away my pearls," he said; "since your mind is in such a deplorable state you shall hear no more to-day. Oh, no. I understand the extent of your anxiety. And so here's Lauderdale going the way of all flesh. Who is she? and what is she singing? The best policy is to make a clean breast of it," said the young man, laughing; "and then, perhaps, I may look over the insult you have been guilty of to myself." But Lauderdale was in no mood for laughing. "I'm not sure that it wouldna be the best plan to go on," he said; "for notwithstanding, I've been giving my best attention; and maybe if I was to speak out what was in my heart "Speak it out." said Colin. He was a little affronted, but he kept his composure. As he folded up his papers and put them away in his pocket-book, he too heard the song which Lauderdale had been listening to. It was only a country-woman singing as she went about her work, and there was no marked resemblance in either the voice or the song to anything he had heard before. All that could be said was that the voice was young and fresh, and that the melody was sad, and had the quality of suggestiveness, which is often wanting to more elaborate music. He knew what was coming when he put up his papers in his pocket-book, and it occurred to him that perhaps it would be well to have the explanation over and be done with it, for he knew how persistent his companion was. "It's no that there's much to say," said Lauderdale, changing his tone; "a man like me, that's little used to change, gets awfu' like a fool in his associations. There's naething that ony reasonable creature could see in thae hills, and a' the sheep on them, that should bring that to my mind; and, as you say, callant, it's Cumberland they're a' speaking, and no English. It's just a kind of folly that men are subject to that live their lane. I canna but go a' through again, from the beginning to Well, I suppose," said Lauderdale with a sigh, "what you and me would call the end." " Here hunting; when Heaven knows— "It is no that I was thinking of," said Lauderdale; "I was minding of the time when we a' met, and the bit soft English voice. It's no that I'm fond of the English, or their ways," continued the philosopher. "We're maybe no so well in our ain country, and maybe we're better; I'll no say. It's a question awfu' hard to settle. But, if ever we a' foregather again, I cannot think there will be that difference. It wasna to say musical that I ken of, but it was aye soft and pleasant-maybe ower soft, Colin, for the like of you and with a bit of yielding tone in it, as if the heart would break sooner than make a stand for its own way. I mind it real weel," said Lauderdale, with a sigh. "As for the father, no doubt there was little to be said in his favour. But, after a', it wasna him that you had any intention to marry. And yon Sabbath-day after he was gone, poor man! when you and me didna ken what to do with ourselves till the soft thing came out of her painted cha'amer, and took the guiding of us into her hands. It's that I was thinking of," said Lauderdale, fixing his eyes on a far off point upon the hills, and ending his musing with a sigh. Colin sighed, too, for sympathy - he could not help it. The scene came before him as his friend spoke. He thought he could see Alice, in her pallor and exhaustion, worn to a soft shadow, in her black dress, coming into the bare Italian room in the glorious summer day, which all the precautions possible could not shut out from the house of mourning- with her prayerbook in her hand; and then he remembered how she had chidden him for reading another lesson than that appointed for the day. It was in the height of his own revolutionary impulses that this thought struck him; and he smiled to himself in the midst of his sigh, with a tender thought "What any man in his senses would call for Alice, and a passing wonder for himself, the end," said Colin, beginning to cut his what change might have been wrought uppencil with some ferocity, which was the on him if that dutiful little soul had actually only occupation that occurred to him for become the companion of his life. Colin the moment; "I don't suppose there can be was not the kind of man who can propose any question as to what you mean. Was it to himself to form his wife's mind, and rule to be expected that I would court rejection her thoughts, and influence her without beover again for the mere pleasure of being ing sensible of her influence in return. rejected? as you know I have been, both That was not the order of domestic affairs by letter and in person; and then, as if even in Ramore; and naturally he judged the that was not enough, accused of fortune- life that might have been, and even yet might be, by that standard. The Mistress's son did not understand having a nullity, or a shadow of himself, for a wife; and insensibly he made his way back from the attendrissement into which Lauderdale's musings had led him, into half-amused speculation as to the effect Alice and her influence might have had upon him by this time. "If that had happened," he said with a smile, bursting out, as was usual to him when Lauderdale was his companion, at that particular point of his thoughts which required expression, without troubling himself to explain how he came there if that had happened," said Colin, with the conscious smile of old, "I wonder what sort of fellow I should have been by this time? I doubt if I should have had any idea of disturbing the constituted order of affairs. Things are always for the best, you perceive, as everybody says. A man who has any revolutionary work to do must be free and alone. But don't let us talk any more of that-I don't like turning back upon the road. But for that feeling I should have settled the business before now about poor Arthur's Voice from the Grave."" "I was aye against that title," said Lauderdale, "if he would have paid any attention; but you're a' the same, you young callants; it's nae more a voice from the grave than mine is. It's a voice from an awfu' real life, that had nae intention to lose a minute that was permitted. It would be something, to be sure that he was kept informed, and had a pleasure in his book; but then, so far as I can judge, he maun ken an awfu' deal better by this time — and maybe up there they're no heeding about a third edition. It's hard to say; he was so terrible like himself up to the last moment; I canna imagine, in my own mind, that he's no like himself still. There should be a heap of siller," said Lauderdale, "by this time; and sooner or later you'll have to open communication, and let them ken." "Yes," said Colin, with a momentary look of sullenness and repugnance; and then he added, in a lighter tone, "heaps of money never came out of a religious publisher's hand. A third edition does not mean the same thing with them as with other people. Of course, it must be set right some time or other. We had better set off, I can tell you, and not talk idle talk like this, if we mean to get to our journey's end to-night." "Oh, ay," said Lauderdale, "you're aye in a hurry, you young callants. As for me, I've aye found time to finish what I was about. Is it the father that makes you so unwilling for any correspondence? — but it's awfu' easy to settle a thing like that." "I think you want to try how far my patience can go," said Colin, who had grown crimson up to the hair. "Do you think a man has no feeling, Lauderdale? Do you think it is possible to be treated as I have been, and yet go back again with humility, hat in hand? I don't feel myself capable of that." "If you're asking me my opinion," said Lauderdale, calmly, "I've nae objection to tell you what I think. You're no vindictive, and you've nae pride to speak of-I'm meaning pride of that kind. It's no in you to bear a grudge at onybody beyond, maybe, the hour or the day. So I'm no heeding much about that question, for my part. If you had an awfu' regard for the man, he might affront you; but no being indifferent. I'm telling you just my opinion, with my partial knowledge of the premises- but for her, I cannot but say what is in my ain mind. I've a kind of longing to see her again; we used to be awfu' good friends, her and me. I had you to take care of, callant, and she had him; and whiles she had a moment of envy, and grudged terrible in her heart to see the air and the sun, that are for baith the good and the evil, so hard upon him, and so sweet to you; there was little in her mind to hide, and her and me were good friends. I'll never forget our counts and our reckonings. It's awfu' hard for the like o' me to divine wherefore it is that a' that has come to an end, and her and you dropped out of one another's life." "Lauderdale," said Colin, with a little choking in his voice, "I will tell you what I never told you before " and then the young man stopped short, as if he had received a blow. What was it that came over him like an imperious sudden prohibition, stopping the words upon his lips the first time he had ever dreamt of uttering them to mortal ear? He had a feeling somehow as if one of those flying shadows that kept coming and going over the mountains had taken another shape and come before him, and put a cold hand on his lips. He was about to have confessed that his love had been no more than tender compassion and kindness; he was about to have said what Lauderdale might have guessed before, what Colin had kept secret and hidden in his breast that Alice never was nor could be the ideal woman of his thoughts, the true love, who waited for him somewhere in the future. But perhaps, after all, it was no shadow nor unseen influence, but only the young man's magnanimous heart that spared "We shall have an hour's walking in the dark, if we don't make all the better progress," said Colin ; "which is uncomfortable when one does not know the way. And now to return to No. I." he said with a laugh, as they went on along the dusty road. There was not another word said between them of the confession thus abruptly stopped. Perhaps Lauderdale in his heart had a perception of what it meant; but, however that might be, both fell at once with eagerness, as if they had never digressed for a moment, upon the first number of Colin's Tracts for the Times. that humiliation to the name of Alice-sole- crevice of his heart a dumb consciousness ly to her name; for, now that all was over which hid itself out of sight that it might between them, it was only that abstract not be argued with, that after all Arthur representation of her that was concerned. and he in the dark had passed by each oth"Ay," said Lauderdale, after a moment, er, and exchanged a word or thought in 'you were going to tell me "and then passing. Colin took care not to betray even he rose as Colin had done, and threw his to himself the existence of this conviction; knapsack on his shoulder, and prepared to but deep down in the silence it influenced resume his march. him unawares. As for Lauderdale, his thoughts, as might have been expected, had taken another direction. Perhaps he was past the age of dreaming. Colin's revelation which he did not make had possibly told his friend more than if it had been said out in words; and all the thoughts of the elder man had fixed upon the strange problem which has been discussed so often with so little result-how there are some people who can have love for the asking, and reject it, and how there are some who would die for that dear consolation, to whom it does not come. To be sure, he was not philosophical on this subject, and the chances are that he attributed to Alice feelings much deeper and more serious than any that had actually moved her. The chances were, indeed, for all that Lauderdale knew, that she had accepted her position, as Colin thought, dutifully, and obeyed her father, and ceased to think anything about the romantic projects and strange companionship of their Italian life. But the friend was more faithful than the lover, and had a more elevated idea of Alice, and her capabilities; and he took to talking in his vague way, hovering round the subject in wide circles, now and then swooping down for a moment on some point that approached, as closely as he thought it right to approach, to the real centre of his thoughts. CHAPTER XLVIII. This conversation, however, as was natural, had a certain effect upon both the friends. It threw Colin, who, to be sure, was chiefly concerned, into a world of confused imaginations, which influenced even his dreams, and through his dreams reacted upon himself. When he was alone at night, instead of going to sleep at once, as would have been natural after his day's journey, he kept falling into absurd little dozes and waking up suddenly with the idea that Alice was standing by him, that she was calling him, that it was the marriage-day, and that somebody had found him out, and was about to tell his bride that he did not love her; "Thae great hills are awfu' in the way," and at last, when he went to sleep in good said Lauderdale. "I'm no saying but earnest, the fantastic melange of recollection they're an ornament to a country, and grand and imagination carried him back to Fras- things for you, and the like of you, that cati, where he found Arthur and Alice, as make verses; but I canna see any reason of old, in the great salone, with its frescoed why they should come between me and the walls, and talked to them as in the former sun. I'm no so high, but I'm maybe mair days. He thought Meredith told him of an important in the economy of creation. Yet, important journey upon which he was setting for a' that, there's yon bald fellow yonder, out, and made arrangements in the mean- with a' those patches on his crown, puts himtime for his sister with an anxiety which the self right between us and the light without real Arthur had never dreamt of exhibiting. even asking pardon. It's no respectful to "She will be safe with you at present," you in your position, Colin. They're awfu' the visionary Arthur seemed to say, "and like men. I've seen a man standing like by-and-by you will send her to me "that across another man's life or whiles And when Colin woke it was hard for him to convince himself at first that he had not been in actual communication with his friend. He accounted for it, of course, as it is very easy to account for dreams, and convinced himself, and yet left behind in some another woman's," said the philosopher. "It's not an encouraging spectacle. I'm no heeding about Nature, that kens no better; but for a man Perhaps the man, too, might know no better," said Colin, laughing; but his laugh was slightly uneasy, for he, too, had been very well, for example," he continued; thinking, and it seemed to him that the sub-"wonderful well, considering you're a huject was an unfortunate one to start with. man creature like myself. I have a kind of "I don't see that he is much more responsible than the mountain. It may be in pursuing his own path, simply enough, that he shadows another man's for the moment -or another woman's, as you say, Lauderdale," he said, breaking off and laughing again. Somehow a little absurd colour had come to his face, he could not tell why. 66 idea what you would be most likely to think on most subjects, and could very near run the risk of prophesying what you would say; but, when you turn that corner out of my sight, I ken no more what may be the next thing you'll do than if I had never heard your name. No, I'm no tired at this hour of the morning- but I've an awfu' objection to dust, and the road is as powdery as a mill. My intention is to take a seat on this brae and let that carriage pass." Ay," said Lauderdale," and you're thinking that above a', that's real dangerous for a minister. When he's popular like you he has so many paths to cross-and young "Wait a little, then; it comes on very -and a kind of genius in his way and slowly; there must be some invalid in it, no to call bad-looking neither," said the crit- for the horses look good enough," said ic, turning upon Colin a somewhat savage Colin, and he turned his back to the carlook; "and then the women part of them, riage which was approaching, in order to they're often awfu' haverils, and a young survey the green slope, covered with trees minister canna be uncivil. It's nae fault of and brushwood, upon which Lauderdale the hill, but it's awfu' silly of me to let my-meant to rest. They were separated a little self be kept in the shade." when the carriage came up, and neither of "Hit fair," said Colin, laughing; "none them paid much attention to it. Lauderof your blows in the dark. I am an inno-dale was already half way up the slope, and cent man; besides there are no interesting Colin was standing by the side of the road, pathways in my way to cross,"the young man looking after him. The horses had quickadded with natural pathos; for, indeed, ened their pace at the last moment, and had since the days of Matty Franklin and Alice, passed before Colin could turn round to see his opportunities on the whole in that par- who the travellers were; but at that moticular had been small. ment, as the carriage rolled along behind him, he gave a start so violent that the stones under his feet seemed suddenly to get in his way and trip him up, and Lauderdale for his part came down from the brae with a long leap and strange exclamation. "What was that?" they said to each other, in the same breath, and paused for a moment, and looked in each other's faces, and listened. The carriage went on faster, raising a cloud of dust, and nothing was to be heard except the sound of the horses' hoofs and the wheels. It was Colin that was the first to break the silence. He detached himself from among the stones and bushes, where he got entangled in that moment of agitation, and sprang back again to the high road which lay before him, veiled in a cloud of dust. simply absurd," said Colin. "Lauderdale, I cannot imagine what you mean; you are enough to drive a man mad. Some one gives a chance outcry in passing, and you make up your mind that it is Good heavens! "It's grand when he does not lose his road himself," said Lauderdale. "That's an awfu' advantage on the part of the hills. They've nae responsibility, no being voluntary agents; but I've seen a man lose his ain way that had been a shadow on another man's road- or woman's, as you were saying. We're done with that now," said the philosopher; "the shadows are no so long lingering in the morning-but I am real glad to be clear of it myself. You see, after a', we're no in Italy, though we're coming south. I dinna understand a country that makes you hide in the midday, and lose your time in a' the corners. Here a man can walk in the sun." 66 "Even in another man's sun," said Colin, or woman's, according to what you have just been saying. But we will have enough of it to-day, before we get to our journey's end." “Ay," said Lauderdale; "there's something awfu' unreasonable in this life, take it at the best. As for logic, I never was great on that point. The grand thing of a man is, that you never can tell what he'll do the next moment. I'm no denying the force of character. It's the only thing in this world that gives a kind of direction, but I wouldna even put my trust in character. I ken you courage "It is I never knew such folly!" cried the young man. He took off his hat without knowing it, and thrust his hair up over his forehead, and made an effort to take and regain his composure as he took breath. But it was very clear that Lauderdale had nothing to do with Colin's excitement. He had himself heard the cry, and felt in his heart that it was no imagination. As he stood there in his pretended indignation the impulse of flight came upon him--a certain terror, which he could not explain nor comprehend, came over him. There was not a man in existence before whom he would have flown; but that little cry of recognition took away all his courage. He did not feel in himself the strength to go forward, to venture upon a meeting. The blood which had rushed to his face for the first moment seemed to go back upon his heart and stifle it. He had made a step or two forward without thinking; but then he arrested himself, and wavered, and looked upon the road which lay quite tranquil behind him in the shadow of the hills. It seemed to him for the moment as if his only safety was in flight. As for Lauderdale, it took him all the time which Colin had occupied in these thoughts to get down from his elevation and return to his friend's side. He for his part was animated and eager. "This is no her country," said Lauderdale; "she's a traveller, as we are. The carriage will stop at our next stage, but there's no time to be lost;" and as he said these words he resumed his march with his long steady step without remarking the hesitation of Colin or what he had said. The young man himself felt that saving impulse fail him after the first minute. Afterwards, all the secondary motives came into his mind, and urged him to go on. Had he allowed that he was afraid to meet or to renew his relationship with Alice Meredith, supposing that by any extraordinary chance this should be she, it would be to betray the secret which he had guarded so long, and to betray himself; and he knew no reason that he could give for such a cowardly retreat. He could not say, "If I see her again, and find that she has been thinking of me, I shall be compelled to carry out my original mistake, and give up my brighter hopes," -for no one knew that he had made any mistake, or that she was not to his eyes the type of all that was dearest in woman. "The chances are that it is all a piece of folly - a deception of the senses," he said to himself instead "something like what people have when they think they see ghosts. We have talked of her, and I have dreamed of her, and now, to be sure, necessity requires that I should hear her. It should have been seeing, to make all perfect;" and, after that little piece of self-contempt, he went on again with Lauderdale without making any objection. The dust which had been raised by the carriage came towards them like a moving pillar; but the carriage itself went rapidly on and turned the corner and went out of sight. And then Colin did his best to comfort and strengthen himself by other means. "Don't put yourself out of breath," he said to Lauderdale; "the whole thing is quite explainable. That absurd imagination of yours yesterday has got into both our heads. I don't mind saying I dreamt of it all last night. Anything so wild was never put into a novel. It's an optical illusion, or, rather I should say, it's an ocular illusion. Things don't happen in real life in this kind of promiscuous way. Don't walk so quick and put yourself out of breath." "Did you no hear?" said Lauderdale. "If you hadna heard I could understand. As for me, I canna say but I saw as well. I'm no minding at this moment about my breath." "What did you see?" cried Colin, with a sudden thrill at his heart. "I'll no say it was her," said Lauderdale; "no but what I am as sure as I am of life that she was there. I saw something white laid back in the carriage, somebody that was ill; it might be her or it might be another. I've an awfu' strong opinion that it was her. It's been borne in on my mind that she was ill and wearying. We mightna ken her, but she kent you and me." What you say makes it more and more unlikely," said Colin. "I confess that I was a little excited myself by those dreams and stuff; but nothing could be more improbable than that she should recognize you and me. Bah! it is absurd to be talking of her in this ridiculous way, as if we had the slightest reason to suppose it was her. Any little movement might make a sick lady cry out; and, as for recognizing a voice at such a distance of time! All this makes me feel like a fool," said Colin. "I am more disposed to go back than to go on. I wish you would dismiss that nonsense from your thoughts." "If I was to do that same, do you think you could join me?" said Lauderdale. "There's voices I would ken after thirty years instead of after three; and I'm no likely to forget the bit English tone of it. I'm a wee slow about some things, and I'll no pretend to fathom your meaning; but, whether its draft-like or no, this I'm sure of, that if you make up to that carriage that's away out of our sight at this moment, you'll find Alice Meredith there." "I don't believe anything of the kind. Your imagination has deceived you," said Colin, and they went on for a long time in silence; but at the bottom of his heart Colin felt that his own imagination had not deceived him. The only thing that had de |