that our selfe may pervew, prevent, and preoccupie the pustulent dangers incident to all your cases.

Do. Here is a petition exhibited of the particuler greevances of each sort of pages.

Bid. We will vouchsafe, in this our publike session, to peruse them. Pleaseth your excellent wagship to bee informed that the devision of pages is tripartite (tripartite), or three-fold of pages, some be court-pages, others ordinary gallants pages, and the third apple-squiers, basketbearers, or pages of the placket: with the last we will proceede first. Stand forth, page of the placket: what is your mistres?

Slip. A kinde of puritane.

Bid. How live you?

Slip. Miserably, complayning to your crack-ship: though we have light mistresses, we are made the children and servants of darknes. What prophane use we are put to, al these gallants more feelingly know then we can lively expresse; it is to be comiserated, and by your royall insight onely to bee prevented, that a male mounkey and the diminutive of a man should bee synonima, and no scence. Though wee are the drosse of your subjects, yet being a kinde of page, let us find your celsitude kind and respective of our time-fortunes and birthes abuse and so, in the name of our whole tribe of emptie basket-bearers, I kisse your little hands.

:

Bid. Your case is dangerous, and almost desperat. Stand forth, ordinary gallants page: what is the nature of your master?

No. He eates well and right slovenly; and when the dice favor him, goes in good cloathes, and scowers his pinke collour silk stockings; when he hath any money, he

beares his crownes, when he hath none I carry his purse. He cheates well, sweares better, but swaggers in a wantons chamber admirably; hee loves his boy and the rump of a cram'd capon; and this summer hath a passing thrifty humor to bottle ale; as contemptuous as Lucifer, as arrogant as ignorance can make him, as libidinous as Priapus. Hee keepes mee as his adamant, to draw mettell after to his lodging: I curle his perriwig, painte his cheekes, perfume his breath; I am his froterer or rubber in a hothouse, the prop of his lies, the bearer of his fals dice; and yet for all this, like the Persian louse, that eates byting, and byting eates, so I say sithing, and sithing say my end is to paste up a si quis. My masters fortunes are forc'd to cashere me, and so six to one I fall to be a pippin squire. Hic finis priami!-this is the end of pick-pockets.

Bid. Stand forth, court page: thou lokest pale and

wan.

Trip. Most ridiculous Emperor.

Bid. O, say no more. I know thy miseryes ;—what betwixt thy lady, her gentlewoman, and thy masters late gaming, thou maist looke pale. I know thy miseries, and I condole thy calamities. Thou art borne well, bred ill, but diest worst of al: thy bloud most commonly gentle, thy youth ordinaryly idle, and thy age to often miserable. When thy first sute is fresh, thy cheekes cleere of court soiles, and thy lord falne out with his lady, so longe may be heele chuck thee under the chin, call thee good pretty ape, and give thee a scrap from his owne trencher; but after, he never beholds thee but when thou squierst him with a torch to a wantons sheetes, or lightes his tobaccopipe. Never useth thee but as his pander; never regardeth thee but as an idle bur that stickst upon the nap of his

fortune;-and so, naked thou camst into the world, and naked thou must returne: whom serve you?

Ho. A foole!

Bid. Thou art my happiest subject: the service of a foole is the onely blessedst slavery that ever put on a chaine and a blew cote; they know not what nor for what they give, but so they give tis good, so it be good they give; fortunes are ordain'd for fooles, as fooles are for fortune, to play with all, not to use: hath hee taken an oth of alleagiance—is hee of our brotherhood yet?

Ho. Not yet, right venerable Honorificac cac cac cacuminos Bidet! but as little an infant as I am I will, and with the grace of wit I will deserve it.

Bid. You must performe a valorous, vertuous, and religious exploit first, in desert of your order.

Ho. What ist?

Bid. Couzen thy master, hee is a foole, and was created for men of wit, such as thy selfe, to make use of.

Ho. Such as my selfe? Nay, faith, for wit, I think, for my age, or so But on, sir.

Bid. That thou maist the easier purge him of superfluous bloud, I will discribe thy maisters constitution. He loves and is beloved of himselfe, and one more, his dog. There is a company of unbrac'd, untrussd rutters in the towne, that crinkle in the hammes, swearing their flesh is their onely lyving, and when they have any crownes, cry “God a marcy, Mol!" and shrugging, let the cockholds pay fort; intimating that their maintenance flowes from the wantonnesse of merchants wives, when introth the plain troth is, the plaine and the stand, or the plaine stand and deliver, delivers them all their lyving. These comrades have perswaded thy maister that ther's no way to redeeme his

peach-collour satten sute from pawne but by the love of a cytizens wife; hee beleeves it: they flout him, he feedes them; and now tis our honest and religious meditation that hee feede us, Holyfernes Puppi.

Ho. Pippo, and shall please you.

Bid. Pippo, tis our will and pleasure thou sute thy selfe like a marchants wife; leave the managing of the sequence unto our prudence.

Ho. Or unto our prudence; truly shee is a very witty wench, and hath a stammell petticote with three gards for the nonce; but for your marchants wife, alas! I am to little, speake to small, go to gingerly: by my troth I feare I shall looke to faire.

Bid. Our majesty dismounteth, and wee put of our greatnesse; and now, my little knaves, I am plaine Crack, as I am Bosphoros Carmelydon Honorificacuminos Bidet. I am imperious honor sparckles in mine eyes; but as I am Crack, I wil convay, crosbite, and cheat upon Simplicius. I will feed, satiat, and fill your panches; replenish, stuff, or furnish your purses: wee will laugh when others weepe-sing when others sith-feede when others starveand be drunke when others are sober. This is my charge at the loose. As you love our brother-hood, avoide true speech, square dice, small liquor, and above all, those to ungentlemanlike protestations of indeede and verely. And so, gentle Appollo, touch thy nimble string; our sceane is donne; yet fore wee cease, wee sing.

[The Song, and Exeunt.

ACTUS QUARTUS.

Cel.

SCENA PRIMA.

Enter CELIA, MELETZA, LYZABETTA, and LUCEA.

AITH, sister, I long to play with a fether!

Pree-thee, Lucia, bring the shuttlecock.

Mel. Out on him, light-pated phantasticke! He's like one of our gallants at

Lyz. I wonder who thou speak'st well of.

Mel. Why, of my selfe; for by my troth, I know none el's wil.

Cel. Sweet sister Meletza, lets sit in judgment a little, faith, on my servant, Mounsieur Laverdure.

Mel. Troth well, for a servant, but for a husband (sigh) I.

Lyz. Why, why?

Mel. Why, he is not a plaine foole, nor faire, nor fat, nor rich, rich foole. But he is a knight; his honour will give the passado in the presence to-morrow night; I hope he wil deserve. Al I can say is as, as the common fiddlers will say in their God send you well to do.

Lyz. How think'st thou of the amorous Iacomo?