THE FUDGE FAMILY IN PARIS. Le Leggi della Maschera richiedono che una persona mascherata non sia salutata per nome da uno che la conosce malgrado il suo travestimento.-CASTIGLIONE. Set the first of his own dear legitimate feet,' (Modell'd out so exactly, and-God bless the mark! 'Tis a foot, Dolly, worthy so Grand a Monarque), He exclaim'd, "Oh, mon Roi!" and, with teardropping eye, Stood to gaze on the spot - while some Jacobin, nigh, Mutter'd out with a shrug, (what an insolent thing!) "Ma foi, he be right- 'tis de Englishman's King; And dat gros pied de cochon-begar, me vil say Dat de foot look mosh better, if turn'd toder way." 1 To commemorate the landing of Louis le Désiré from England, the impression of his foot is marked out on the pier at Calais, and a pillar with an inscription raised opposite to the spot. 2 Ci-git la jambe de, &c. &c. | Our party consists (in a neat Calais job) But, Lord! he's quite alter'd they've made him a Dandy; A thing, you know, whisker'd, great-coated, and lac'd, Like an hour-glass, exceedingly small in the waist: Quite a new sort of creatures, unknown yet to scholars, With heads, so immovably stuck in shirt-collars, That seats, like our music-stools, soon must be found them, To twirl, when the creatures may wish to look round them. In short, dear, "a Dandy" describes what I mean, And goes now to Paris to study French dishes, Whose names - think, how quick! he already knows pat, A la braise, petits pâtés, and—what d'ye call that As dear Pa knows the titles of authors and books. 1 As to Pa, what d'ye think?— mind, it's all entre nous, But you know, love, I never keep secrets from you Why, he's writing a book what! a tale? a ro Au reste (as we say), the young lad's well enough, Only talks much of Athens, Rome, virtue, and stuff; -- A third cousin of ours, by the way poor as Job (Though of royal descent by the side of Mamma), And for charity made private tutor to BoB ; No, ye Gods, would it were! — but his Travels in Entre nous, too, a Papist - how lib'ral of Pa! France; mance? -- At the special desire (he let out t'other day) Of his great friend and patron, my Lord C-STL-R-GH, And, it's strange, no one ever remembers my This is all, dear, — forgive me for breaking off thus, How provoking of Pa! he will not let me stop But 'twas something to say that, as all must allow, Found out by the-what's-its-name liance, - Holy Al The matter's soon settled-Pa flies to the Row "SCOTT's Visit," of course -in short, ev'ry thing An author can want, except words and ideas: But, bless me, my paper's near out, so I'd better Which BOBBY would have, and is hard at it yet. LETTER II. FROM PHIL. FUDGE, ESQ. TO THE LORD VISCOUNT Ar length, my Lord, I have the bliss 66 Demoraliz'd" metropolis; Paris. Where, by plebeians low and scurvy, Upward and downward, as the stream While BONEY's borne on shoulders in :- The Ministers still keep their places. oratory, indeed, abounds with such startling peculiarities. Thus the eloquent Counsellor B, in describing some hypocritical pretender to charity, said, “He put his hand in his breeches-pocket, like a crocodile, and," &c. &c. I've thought of thee and of thy glories, And spread, beyond man's usual share, Like Major SEMPLE, every where! Next speech'd to Sov'reign's ears, and when There's one thou should'st be chieflypleas'd atThat Ireland gives her snuff thy name, And C GH's the thing now sneez'd at! But hold, my pen But time and ink run short, and now, On which this letter chiefly hinges ;) — 2 My Book, the Book that is to prove · And will, (so help ye Sprites above, That sit on clouds, as grave as judges, Watching the labours of the FUDGES!) Will prove that all the world, at present, Is in a state extremely pleasant; That Europe - thanks to royal swords And bay'nets, and the Duke commanding Enjoys a peace which, like the Lord's, Passeth all human understanding; That France prefers her go-cart King To such a coward scamp as BONEY; Though round, with each a leading-string, There standeth many a Royal crony For fear the chubby, tott'ring thing Should fall, if left there loney-poney; · Remember when by thee reign'd over, 1 The title of the chief magistrate of Belfast, before whom his Lordship (with the "studium immane loquendi" attributed by Ovid to that chattering and rapacious class of birds, the pies) delivered sundry long and self-gratulatory orations, on his return from the Continent. It was at one of these Irish dinners that his gallant brother, Lord 8., proposed the health of " The best cavalry officer in Europe- the Regent !" 2 Verbatim from one of the noble Viscount's Speeches-"And now, Sir, I must embark into the feature on which this question chiefly hinges." 3 See her Letters. That Poland, left for Russia's lunch Transferr'd by contract, bless the clods! For Dragons after Chinese models, All this my Quarto 'll prove-much more My journal penn'd by fits and starts, On BIDDY's back or BOBBY's shoulder, (My son, my Lord, a youth of parts, Who longs to be a small place-holder,) To show its spirit, and I've done. "Sigh'd o'er the Kings of ages back, "And-gave the old Concierge a penny. "(Mem.-Must see Rheims, much fam'd, 'tis said, "For making Kings and gingerbread.) "Was shown the tomb, where lay, so stately, "A little Bourbon, buried lately, "Thrice high and puissant, we were told, "Though only twenty-four hours old ! "Hear this, thought I, ye Jacobins : 'Ye Burdetts, tremble in your skins; If Royalty, but ag'd a day, "Can boast such high and puissant sway, 1 There is a fulness and breadth in this portrait of Royalty, which reminds us of what Pliny says, in speaking of Trajan's great qualítics: -“nonne longè lateque Principem ostentant ?" 2 See the Quarterly Review for May, 1816, where Mr. Hobhouse sccused of having written his book "in a back street of the French capital." 3 The Bill of Fare.- Véry, a well-known restaurateur. Mr. Bob alludes particularly, I presume, to the famous Jury Degustateur, which used to assemble at the Hôtel of M. Grimod de la Reynière, and of which this modern Archestratus has given an account in his Almanach des Gourmands, cinquième année D. 73. The fairy-land of cookery and gourmandise: "Pays, où le ciel offre les viandes toutes cuites, et où, comme on parle, les alouettes tombent toutes roties. Du Latin, coquere."- Duchat. After dreaming some hours of the land of Cocaigne, That Elysium of all that is friand and nice, Where for hail they have bon-bons, and claret for rain, And the skaiters in winter show off on cream-ice; Where so ready all nature its cookery yields, Macaroni au parmesan grows in the fields; Little birds fly about with the true pheasant taint, And the geese are all born with a liver complaint! I rise-put on neck-cloth-stiff, tight, as can beFor a lad who goes into the world, DICK, like me, Should have his neck tied up, you know—there's no doubt of it Almost as tight as some lads who go out of it. With whiskers well oil'd, and with boots that "hold up "The mirror to nature" so bright you could sup Off the leather like china; with a coat, too, that draws On the tailor, who suffers, a martyr's applause! feeder, I strut to the old Café Hardy, which yet Of a breakfast in England, your curst tea and toast;" 6 The process by which the liver of the unfortunate goose is enlarged, in order to produce that richest of all dainties, the foie gras, of which such renowned pâtés are made at Strasbourg and Toulouse, is thus described in the Cours Gastronomique : — “On déplume l'estomac des oies; on attache ensuite ces animaux aux chenets d'une cheminée, et on les nourrit devant le feu. La captivité et la chaleur donnent à ces volatiles une maladie népatique, qui fait gonfler leur foie," &c. p. 206. 7 Is Mr. Bob aware that his contempt for tea renders him liable to a charge of atheism? Such, at least, is the opinion cited in Christian. Falster. Amanitat. Philog." Atheum interpretabatur hominem ad herbâ The aversum." He would not, I think, have been so irreverent to this beverage of scholars, if he had read Peter Petit's Poem in praise of Tea, addressed to the learned Huet-or the Epigraphe which Pechlinus wrote for an altar he meant to Then, some glasses of Beaune, to dilute-or, mayhap, Chambertin', which you know's the pet tipple of NAP, And which Dad, by the by, that legitimate stickler, Much scruples to taste, but I'm not so partic'lar.Your coffee comes next, by prescription: and then, DICK, 's The coffee's ne'er-failing and glorious appendix, A neat glass of parfait-amour, which one sips The sun now well out, and the girls all abroad, And the world enough air'd for us, Nobs, to appear in't, We lounge up the Boulevards, where-oh, DICK, the phyzzes, The turn-outs, we meet-what a nation of quizzes! fun dreads, Such hats!-fit for monkeys-I'd back Mrs. DRA PER To cut neater weather-boards out of brown paper: And coats-how I wish, if it wouldn't distress 'em, They'd club for old ВR-им-L, from Calais, to dress 'em! The collar sticks out from the neck such a space, That you'd swear 'twas the plan of this headlopping nation, To leave there behind them a snug little place Some mummers by trade, and the rest amateurs— What with captains in new jockey-boots and silk breeches, Old dustmen with swinging great opera hats, And shoeblacks reclining by statues in niches, There never was seen such a race of Jack | Sprats! From the Boulevards-but hearken!-yes-as I'm a sinner, So no more at present-short time for adorning— The clock is just striking the half-hour to dinner; My Day must be finish'd some other fine morn. ing. |