1 For instance, I, one evening late, Upon a gay vacation sally, Singing the praise of Church and State, When lo! an Irish Papist darted Across my path, gaunt, grim, and bigI did but frown, and off he started, Scar'd at me, even without my wig. Yet a more fierce and raw-bon'd dog Goes not to mass in Dublin City, Nor shakes his brogue o'er Allen's Bog, Nor spouts in Catholic Committee. 3 Oh! place me midst O'Rourkes, O'Tooles, + Of Church and State I'll warble still Though ev'n Dick M-rt-n's self should Sweet Church and State, like Jack and Jill, Ah! ne'er like Jack and Jill to tumble! pists of Spain, and had translated the words "quæ loca fabulosus lambit Hydaspes" thus-" The fabling Spaniard licks the French; "but, recollecting that it is our interest just now to be respectful to Spanish Catholics (though there is certainly no earthly reason for our being even commonly civil to Irish ones), he altered the passage as it stands at present. 1 Namque me silvâ lupus in Sabinâ, I cannot help calling the reader's attention to the peculiar ingenuity with which these lines are paraphrased. Not to mention the happy conversion of the Wolf into a Papist, (seeing that Romulus was suckled by a wolf, that Rome was founded by Romulus, and that the Pope has always reigned at Rome), there is something particularly neat in supposing "ultra terminum" to mean vacation-time: and then the modest consciousness with which the Noble and Learned Translator has avoided touching upon the words " curis expeditis," (or, as it has been otherwise read, "causis expeditis.") and the felicitous idea of his being "inermis" when without his wig," are altogether the most delectable specimens of paraphrase in our language. 6 That model of Princes, the Emperor Commodus, was particularly luxurious in the dressing and ornamenting of his hair. His conscience, however, would not suffer him to trust himself with a barber, and he used, accordingly, to burn off his beard-"timore tonsoris," says Lampridius. (Hist. August. Scriptor.) The dissolute Ælius Verus, too, was equally attentive to the decoration of his wig. (See Jul. Capitolin.)— Indeed, this was not the only princely trait in the character of Verus, as he had likewise a most hearty and dignified contempt for his Wife.-See his insulting answer to her in Spartianus. And kindly invent him more Christian-like shapes "Tis a thing, that in every King's reign has been For his feather-bed neckcloths and pillory capes. Ah! no- -here his ardour would meet with delays, So complete for the winter, he saw very plain done, too: Then why should it now be decried? If the Father has done it, why shouldn't the Son, too? For so argues Law on our side. And, ev'n should our sweet violation of duty By cold-blooded jurors be tried, So, what's to be done? -- there's the Ministers, They can but bring it in "a misfortune," my beauty, o'er 'em So saying, he calls C-stl-r-gh, and the rest Had you been a great Prince, to whose star shining Of his heaven-born statesmen, to come and be drest. While Y―rm-th, with snip-like and brisk ex pedition, Cuts up, all at once, a large Cath'lic Petition In long tailors' measures, (the P-e crying "Welldone!" The people should look for their guide, Then your Highness (and welcome!) might kick down decorum You'd always have Law on your side. And first puts in hand my Lord Chancellor Eld-n. Were you ev'n an old Marquis, in mischief grown Your prudes may revile, and your old ones look INTENDED TO HAVE BEEN SPOKEN BY THE gloomy, But, dearest, we've Law on our side. Oh! think the delight of two lovers congenial, Whom no dull decorums divide; PROPRIETOR IN FULL COSTUME, ON THE 24TH THIS day a New House, for your edification, Their error how sweet, and their raptures how Excuse the materials-though rotten and bad, venial, When once they've got Law on their side. In allusion to Lord Ell-nb-gh. They're the best that for money just now could be had; And, if echo the charm of such houses should be As for actors, we've got the old Company yet, The same motley, odd, tragi-comical set; And consid'ring they all were but clerks t'other day, You remember last season, when things went perverse on, We had to engage (as a block to rehearse on) To get that great actor from Liverpool, C-nn-g; Get THE SALE OF THE TOOLS. Instrumenta regni.- TACITUS. HERE'S a choice set of Tools for you, Ge'mmen and Ladies, They'll fit you quite handy, whatever your trade is; (Except it be Cabinet-making;;-no doubt, In that delicate service they're rather worn out; Though their owner, bright youth! if he'd had his own will, Would have bungled away with them joyously still.) You can see they've been pretty well hack'd — and alack! What tool is there job after job will not hack? But you'll find them good hard-working Tools, upon trying, Wer't but for their brass, they are well worth the buying; They're famous for making blinds, sliders, and screens, up new diversions, and C-nn-g should stop And are, some of them, excellent turning machines. 'em, Who knows but we'll have to announce in the papers, The first Tool I'll put up (they call it a Chancellor) "Grand fight-second time-with additional Heavy concern to both purchaser and seller. capers." Be your taste for the ludicrous, humdrum, or sad, There is plenty of each in this House to be had. Where our Manager ruleth, there weeping will be, For a dead hand at tragedy always was he; And there never was dealer in dagger and cup, Though made of pig iron, yet worthy of note 'tis, 'Tis ready to melt at a half minute's notice.3 Who bids? Gentle buyer! 'twill turn as thou shapest; 'Twill make a good thumb-screw to torture a Papist; Or else a cramp-iron, to stick in the wall Of some church that old women are fearful will fall; Or better, perhaps, (for I'm guessing at random,) And the widows of Walcheren weep o'er them yet. A heavy drag-chain for some Lawyer's old Tan But it since has receiv'd a new coating of Tin, Bright enough for a Prince to behold himself in. Come, what shall we say for it? briskly! bid on, We'll the sooner get rid of it-going-quite gone. God be with it, such tools, if not quickly knock'd down, Might at last cost their owner-how much? why, a Crown! The next Tool I'll set up has hardly had handsel or Trial as yet, and is also a ChancellorSuch dull things as these should be sold by the gross; Yet, dull as it is, 'twill be found to shave close, And like other close shavers, some courage to gather, This blade first began by a flourish on leather.1 You shall have it for nothing-then, marvel with me At the terrible tinkering work there must be, The little Man look'd big With th' assistance of his wig, And he call'd his little Soul to order, order, order, (As she wasn't Duke or Earl) to reward her, ward her, ward her, As she wasn't Duke or Earl, to reward her. The little Man then spoke, "For as sure as J-cky F-11-r loves a sup, sup, sup, "I will tell the Prince and People "What I think of Church and Steeple, "And my little patent plan to prop them up, up, up, "And my little patent plan to prop them up." Away then, cheek by jowl, Little man and little Soul Where a Tool such as this is (I'll leave you to judge Went and spoke their little speech to a tittle, it) Is placed by ill luck at the top of the Budget! LITTLE MAN AND LITTLE SOUL. A BALLAD. To the tune of" There was a little man, and he woo'd a little maid." DEDICATED TO THE RT. HON. CH-RL-S ABB-T. Arcades ambo Et cant-are pares. 1813. tittle, tittle, As recruits in these times are not easily got, should we not, As the last and, I grant it, the worst of our loans to him, Ship off the Ministry, body and bones to him? There's not in all England, I'd venture to swear, Any men we could half so conveniently spare; And, though they've been helping the French for years past, We may thus make them useful to England at last. C-stl-r-gh in our sieges might save some dis graces, Being us'd to the taking and keeping of places; And Volunteer C-nn-g, still ready for joining, Might show off his talent for sly undermining. Could the Household but spare us its glory and pride, Old H-df-t at horn-works again might be tried, And the Ch-f J-st-e make a bold charge at his side: While V-ns-tt-t could victual the troops upon tick, And the Doctor look after the baggage and sick. Nay, I do not see why the great R-g-t himself HORACE, ODE XXXVIII. LIB. I. A FRAGMENT. Persicos odi, puer, adparatus ; A Should, in times such as these, stay at home on the TRANSLATED BY TREASURY CLERK, WHILE WAITING DINNER FOR THE RIGHT HON. G-RGE Boy, tell the Cook that I hate all nick-nackeries, eries Six by the Horse-Guards!-old Georgy is late- HORACE, ODE I. LIB. III. A FRAGMENT. Odi profanum vulgus et arceo: Favete linguis: carmina non prius Virginibus puerisque canto. Regum timendorum in proprios greges, 1813. I HATE thee, oh, Mob, as my Lady hates delf; Leave old Magna Charta to shift for itself, And, like G-dw-n, write books for young masters and misses. Oh! it is not high rank that can make the heart merry, Even monarchs themselves are not free from mishap: So gently in peace Alcibiades smil'd, Though the Lords of Westphalia must quake before Oh Wellington, long as such Ministers wield Poor Jerry himself has to quake before Nap. Your magnificent arm, the same emblem will do; For while they're in the Council and you in the Field, We've the babies in them, and the thunder in you! The character given to the Spanish soldier, in Sir John Clerk next favours us with some remarks upon a well-known Murray's memorable despatch. * The literal closeness of the version here cannot but be admired. The Translator has added a long, erudite, and flowery note upon Roses, of which I can merely give a specimen at present. In the first place, he ransacks the Rosarium Politicum of the Persian poet Sadi, with the hope of finding some Political Roses, to match the gentleman in the textbut in vain: he then tells us that Cicero accused Verres of reposing upon a cushion "Melitensi rosá fartum," which, from the odd mixture of words, he supposes to be a kind of Irish Bed of Roses, like Lord Castlereagh's. The learned punning epitaph on fair Rosamond, and expresses a most loyal hope, that, if " Rosa munda " mean "a Rose with clean hands" it may be found applicable to the Right Honourable Rose in question. He then dwells at some length upon the "Rosa aurea," which, though descriptive, in one sense, of the old Treasury Statesman, yet, as being consecrated and worn by the Pope, must, of course, not be brought into the same atmosphere with him. Lastly, in reference to the words "old Rose," he winds up with the pathetic lamentation of the Poet" consenuisse Rosas." The whole note, indeed, shows a knowledge of Roses, that is quite edifying. |