EPISTLE FROM HENRY OF EX-T-R TO JOHN OF TUAM.

DEAR John, as I know, like our brother of London, You've sipp'd of all knowledge, both sacred and mundane,

No doubt, in some ancient Joe Miller, you've read What Cato, that cunning old Roman, once said That he ne'er saw two rev'rend soothsayers meet, Let it be where it might, in the shrine or the street, Without wondering the rogues, 'mid their solemn grimaces,

Didn't burst out a laughing in each other's faces.* What Cato then meant, though 'tis so long ago, Even we in the present times pretty well know; Having soothsayers also, who-sooth to say, JohnAre no better in some points than those of days gone, And a pair of whom, meeting (between you and me), Might laugh in their sleeves, too-all lawn though they be.

* Mirari se, si augur augurem aspiciens sibi temperaret a

But this, by the way-my intention being chiefly
In this, my first letter, to hint to you briefly,
That, seeing how fond you of Tuum* must be,
While Meum's at all times the main point with me,
We scarce could do better than form an alliance,
To set these sad Anti-Church times at defiance:
You, John, recollect, being still to embark,
With no share in the firm but your title† and mark;
Or ev❜n should you feel in your grandeur inclin'd
To call yourself Pope, why, I shouldn't much mind;
While
my church as usual holds fast by your Tuum,
And every one else's, to make it all Suum.

Thus allied, I've no doubt we shall nicely agree, As no twins can be liker, in most points, than we; Both, specimens choice of that mix'd sort of beast, (See Rev. xiii. 1.) a political priest;

* So spelled in those ancient versicles which John, we understand, frequently chants:

"Had every one Suum,

You wouldn't have Tuum,
But I should have Meum,

And sing Te Deum."

For his keeping the title he may quote classical authority, as Horace expressly says, " Poteris servare Tuam."— De Art. Poet. v. 329.- Chronicle.

Both mettlesome chargers, both brisk pamphleteers, Ripe and ready for all that sets men by the ears; And I, at least one, who would scorn to stick longer By any giv'n cause than I found it the stronger, And who, smooth in my turnings, as if on a swivel, When the tone ecclesiastic wo'n't do, try the civil.

In short (not to bore you, ev'n jure divino) We've the same cause in common, John - all but the rhino;

And that vulgar surplus, whate'er it may be,

As you're not us'd to cash, John, you'd best leave

SONG OF OLD PUCK.

"And those things do best please me,
That befall preposterously."

PUCK Junior, Midsummer Night's Dream.

WHO wants old Puck? for here am I,

A mongrel imp, 'twixt earth and sky,
Ready alike to crawl or fly;

Now in the mud, now in the air,

And, so 'tis for mischief, reckless where.

As to my knowledge, there's no end to't,
For, where I haven't it, I pretend to't;
And, 'stead of taking a learn'd degree
At some dull university,

Puck found it handier to commence
With a certain share of impudence,
Which passes one off as learn'd and clever,
Beyond all other degrees whatever;
And enables a man of lively sconce
To be Master of all the Arts at once.
No matter what the science may be-
Ethics, Physics, Theology,
Mathematics, Hydrostatics,

Aerostatics or Pneumatics

Whatever it be, I take my luck,

'Tis all the same to ancient Puck;
Whose head's so full of all sorts of wares,
That a brother imp, old Smugden, swears
If I had but of law a little smatt'ring,
I'd then be perfect *—which is flatt'ring.

My skill as a linguist all must know
Who met me abroad some months ago;
(And heard me abroad exceedingly, too,
In the moods and tenses of parlez vous)
When, as old Chambaud's shade stood mute,
I spoke such French to the Institute

As puzzled those learned Thebans much,
To know if 'twas Sanscrit or High Dutch,
And might have pass'd with the' unobserving
As one of the unknown tongues of Irving.
As to my talent for ubiquity,

There's nothing like it in all antiquity.

Like Mungo (my peculiar care)

"I'm here, I'm dere, I'm ebery where."+

* Verbatim, as said.

This tribute is only equalled by that

66

of Talleyrand to his medical friend, Dr. -: Il se connoît en tout; et même un peu en médecine."

Song in "The Padlock."