I pledge myself, whenever Right

And Might on any point divide,
Not to ask which is black or white,
But take, at once, the strongest side.

For instance, in all Tithe discussions,
I'm for the Reverend encroachers :—
I loathe the Poles, applaud the Russians, —
Am for the Squires, against the Poachers.

Betwixt the Corn-Lords and the Poor
I've not the slightest hesitation,
The People must be starv'd, t' insure

The Land its due remuneration.

I pledge myself to be no more

With Ireland's wrongs bepros'd or shamm'd,—

I vote her grievances a bore,

So she may suffer, and be d-d.

Or if she kick, let it console us,

We still have plenty of red coats,
To cram the Church, that general bolus,
Down any giv'n amount of throats.

I dearly love the Frankfort Diet,—

Think newspapers the worst of crimes; And would, to give some chance of quiet, Hang all the writers of The Times;

Break all their correspondents' bones,
All authors of "Reply," "Rejoinder,"
From the Anti-Tory, Colonel J-es,
To the Anti-Suttee, Mr. P―ynd—r.

Such are the Pledges I

propose;

And though I can't now offer gold, There's many a way of buying those Who've but the taste for being sold.

So here's, with three times three hurrahs, A toast, of which you'll not complain,—

66

Long life to jobbing; may the days

"Of Peculation shine again!"

ST. JEROME ON EARTH.

FIRST VISIT.

1832.

As St. Jerome, who died some ages ago,

Was sitting, one day, in the shades below, "I've heard much of English bishops," quoth he, "And shall now take a trip to earth, to see "How far they agree, in their lives and ways, "With our good old bishops of ancient days."

He had learn'd- but learn'd without misgivingsTheir love for good living, and eke good livings; Not knowing (as ne'er having taken degrees) That good living means claret and fricassees, While its plural means simply-pluralities. "From all I hear," said the innocent man, "They are quite on the good old primitive plan. "For wealth and pomp they little can care,

"As they all say 'No' to the' Episcopal chair;

"And their vestal virtue it well denotes
"That they all, good men, wear petticoats."

Thus saying, post-haste to earth he hurries,
And knocks at the' Archbishop of Canterbury's.
The door was oped by a lackey in lace,

Saying, "What's your business with his Grace?"
"His Grace!" quoth Jerome - for posed was he,
Not knowing what sort this Grace could be;
Whether Grace preventing, Grace particular,
Grace of that breed called Quinquarticular*-
In short, he rummag'd his holy mind,
The' exact description of Grace to find,
Which thus could represented be
By a footman in full livery.

At last, out loud in a laugh he broke,

(For dearly the good saint lov'd his joke)†
And said surveying, as sly he spoke,
The costly palace from roof to base-
"Well, it isn't, at least, a saving Grace!"

* So called from the proceedings of the Synod of Dort. Witness his well known pun on the name of his adversary Vigilantius, whom he calls facetiously Dormitantius.

"Umph!" said the lackey, a man of few words, "Th' Archbishop is gone to the House of Lords." "To the House of the Lord, you mean, my son, "For, in my time, at least, there was but one; "Unless such many-fold priests as these "Seek, ev'n in their LORD, pluralities !"* "No time for gab," quoth the man in lace: Then, slamming the door in St. Jerome's face, With a curse to the single knockers all, Went to finish his port in the servants' hall, And propose a toast (humanely meant

To include even Curates in its extent)

"To all as serves the' Establishment."

*The suspicion attached to some of the early Fathers of being Arians in their doctrine would appear to derive some confirmation from this passage.