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TO HIS BROTHER NEVILLE.
(FOUND IN HIS POCKET AFTER HIS DECEASE.)
St. John's College, Saturday, Oet. 11, 1806.
DEAR NEVILLE, I AM safely arrived, and in college, but my illness has increased upon me much. The cough continues, and attended with a good deal of fever. I am under the care of Mr. Farish, and entertain very little apprehension about the cough, but my over exertions in town have reduced me to a state of much debility; and until the cough be gone I cannot be permitted to take any strengthening medicines. This places me in an awkward predicament; but I think I perceive a degree
degree of expectoration this morning, which will soon relieve me, and then I shall mend apace.
Under these circumstances, I must not expect to see you here at present; when I am a little recovered it will be a pleasant relaxation to me.
Our lectures began on Friday, but I do not attend them until I am better. I have not written to my mother, nor shall I while I remain unwell. Will you tell her, as a reason, that our lectures began on Friday. I know she will be uneasy
if she do not hear from me, and still more so if I tell her I am ill.
I cannot write more at present, than that I am,
Your truly affectionate Brother,
H. K. WHITE.
WHY will not men be contented with appearing what they are ? As sure as we attempt to pass for what we are not, we make ourselves ridiculous. With religious professors this ought to be a consideration of importance, for when we assume credit for what we do not possess, we break the laws of God in more ways than we are aware of; vanity and deceit are both implicated.
Why art thou so disquieted, O my soul, and why so full of heaviness ? O put thy trust in God: for I will yet thank him which is the help of my countenance, and my God. Ps. 42.
Domine Jesu in te speravi, miserere mei! Ne sperne animum miserrimi peccatoris.
The love of Christ is the only source from whence a Christian can hope to derive spiritual happiness and peace. Now the love of Christ will not reside in the bosom already pre-occupied with the love of the world, or any other predominating affection. We must give up every thing for it, and we know it deserves that distinction; yet, upon this principle, unless the energy of Divine grace were what it is, mighty and irresistible, who would be saved ?
The excellence of our liturgy and our establishment is more and more impressed upon my mind : how admirable do her confessions, her penitentiary offerings, her intercessions, her prayers, suit with the case of the chris
ian. It is a sign that a man's beart is not right with God, when he finds fault with the liturgy.
Contempt of religion is distinct from unbelief: unbelief may be the result of proud reasonings and independent research ; but contempt of the christian doctrine must proceed from profound ignorance.
LORD, give me a heart to turn all knowledge to thy glory, and not to mine; keep me from being deluded with the lights of vain philosophy; keep me from the pride of human reason: let me not think my own thoughts, nor dream my own imaginations; but in all things acting under the good guidance of thy Holy Spirit, may I live in all simplicity, humility, and singleness of heart, unto the Lord Jesus Christ, now and for
[The above prayer was prefixed to a Manual, or Memorandum book.]
ALMIGHTY Father, at the close of another day I kneel before thee in supplication, and ere I compose my body to sleep, I would steal a few moments from weariness, to lift up my thoughts to thy perfections, to meditate on thy wonderful dispensations, and to make my request known unto thee.
Although the hours of this day have not been spent in the busy haunts of society, but in the pursuit of needful and godly knowledge, yet I am conscious that my thoughts and actions have been far from pure; and many vain and foolish speculations, many sinful thoughts and ambitious anticipations, have obtruded themselves on my mind. I know that I have felt pleasure in what I ought to have abhorred, and that I have not bad thy presence conținually in mind; so that my ghostly enemy has mixed poison with my best food, and sowed tares with the good seed of instruction. Sometimes, too, the world has had too much to do with my thoughts; I have longed for its pleasures, its splendors, its honours, and have forgotten that I am a poor follower of Jesus Christ, whose inheritance is not in this land, but in the fields above. I do therefore supplicate and beseech thee, Oh! thou my God and Father, that thou wilt not only forgive these my wanderings, but that thou wilt chasten my heart, and establish my affections, so that they may not be shaken