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Enter Dromio of Syracuse. S. Ant. Why, how now, Dromio, where run'ft thou so faft?
S. Dro Do you know me, Sir ? 'am I Dromio ? I am your man!
am I myself? S. Ant. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thy self.
S. Dro. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides myself.
S. Ant. What woman's man? and how besides thyself?
S. Dro. Marry, Sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman ; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me. 'S. Ant. What claim lays the to thee?
S. Dro. Marry, Sir, such a claim as you would lay to your horse; and the would have me as a beast, not that, I being a beast, she would have me; but that the, being
very beally creature, lays claim to me. S. Ant. What is the
S. Dro. A very reverent body; ay, fuch a one as a man may not speak of, without he say, Sir reverence: I have but lean luck in the match ; and yet is she a wond'rous fat marriage.
S, Ånt. How doft thou mean, a fat marriage ?
S. Dro. Marry, Sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all grease; and I know not what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her ragś, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if the lives 'till doomsday, he'll burn.a week longer than the whole world.
S. Ant. What complexion is the of?.
S. Dio. Swart, like my moe, but her face nothing like fo clean kept; for why? The fweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it.
S. Ant. That's a fault, that water will mend.
S. Dro. No, Sir, 'cis in grain; Noah's food could pot do it.
S. Ant. (12) What's her name?
S. Dro. Nell, Sir;- but her name and three quarters (that is, an ell and three quarters) will not measure her from hip to hip. • S. Ant. Then the bears some breadth ?
S. Dro. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip; she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out countries in her.
S. Ant. In what part of her body stands Ireland ?
S. Dro. Marry, Sir, in her buttocks ; I found it out by the bogs.
S. Ant. Where Scotland ?
8. Dro. I found it out by the barrenness, hard in the palm of her hand.
S. Ant. (13) Where France ?
S. Dro. In her forehead; arm'd and reverted, making war against her heir.
S. Ant. (32) S. Ant. Wbat's ber Name?
S. Dro. Nell, Sir; but ber Name is tbree Quarters; tbat is, an Ell and tbree Quarters, &c.] This Passage has hitherto lain as perplext and unintelligible, as it is now caly, and truly humourous. If a Conundrum be restor'd, in setting it right, who can help it ? There are enough befides in our Author, and Ben Johnson, to countenance that current Vice of the Times when this Play appear'd, Nor is Mr. Pope, in the Chastity of his Taste, to bristle up at Me for the Revival of this Witticism, fince I owe the Correction to the Sagacity of the ingenious Dr. Thirlby. (13) S. Ant. Where France ?
S. Dro. In ber Forebead; arm’d and reverted, making War against ber Hair.) All the other countries, mention'd in this Description, are in Dromio's Replies satirically characteriz'd; but here, as the Editors have order'd it, no Remark is made upon France ; nor any Reason given, why it hould be in her Forehead : but only the Kitchen-wench's high Forehead is ral. lied, as pushing back her Hair. Thus all the modern Edi. tions ; but the first Folio reads making War against her Heir.
TTAnd I am very apt to think, this Laft is the true Reading ; and that an Equivoque, as the French call it, a double Meaning is design'd in the Poet's Allusion : and therefore : have replac'd it in the Text. In 1989, Henry III. of France
S. Ant. Where England ?
S. Dro. I look'd for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them; but I guess, it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.
S. Ant. Where Spain ?
S. Dro. Faith, I saw it not, but I felt it hot in her breath.
S. Ant. Where America, the Indies ? S. Dro. Oh, Sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellish'd with rubies, carbuncles, faphires ; declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain, who sent whole armadoes of carracts to be ballast at her nose.
S. Ant. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands ?
To conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me, callid me Dromio, swore I was assur'd to her, told me what privy marks I had about me, as the marks of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my
left arm, that I, amaz’d, ran from her as a witch. And, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, the had transform'd me to à curtal-dog, and made me turn i'th' wheel.
S. Ant. Go, hie thee presently; post to the road;
being stab’d; and dying of his Wound, was succeeded by Henry IV. of Navarro, whom he appointed his Succeffor ; but whose Claim the States of France refifted, on account of his being a Protestant. This, I take it, is what he means, by France making War against her Heir. Now as, in 1591, Queen Elizabetb sent over 4000 Men, under the Conduct of the Earl of Efex, to the Asistance of this Henry of Navarre ; it seems to me very probable, that during this Expedition being on foot, this Comedy made its Appearance. And it was the finest Address imaginable in the Poet, to throw such an oblique Sneer at France, for opposing the Succeffion of that Heir, whore Claim his Royal Mistress, the Queen, had sent over a Force to efa. blin, and oblige them to acknowledge.
If f every one know us, and we know none,
S. Dro. As from a bear a man would run for life,
Enter Angelo, with a Chain.
Ang. I know it well, Sir ; lo, here is the chain ;
S. Ant. What is your will, that I shall do with this?
Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times, you have :
S. Ant. I pray you, Sir, receive the mony now ;
S CE N E, The Street.
Nor now I had not, but that I am-bound
Ang. Ev'n just the sum, that I do owe to you,
as from the Courtezan's. Off. That labour you may save : see, where he comes.
É. Ant. While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou And buy a rope's end ; that will I bestow Among my wife and her confederates, For locking me out of my doors by day. But, soft; I see the goldsmith : get thee gone, Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me. E. Dro. I buy a thousand pound a year! I buy a rope !
[Exit Dromio. E. Ant. A man is well holp up, that trufts to you: I promised your presence, and the chain : But neither chain, nor goldsmith, came to me: