PAST Midnight! What a stillness, hush'd and deep," Presses with numbing hand the slumbering town! The quiet moon seems more than half asleep,

And, like some spirit, glides the sky adown. Noiseless, as if in fear, some stragglers creep

Homewards, within the shrouding shadows thrown,
By the tall houses; spectre-like they stray,
And soon their steps in distance die away.

An hour when, from its mouldering grave upris'n,
The blood-stained ghost comes forth to take the air,
When Conscience, stalking grimly through some prison,
Rides on the felon's breast, and howls "despair."
For, oh! the man wot takes what is'nt his'n,

Is certain to be scragg'd by the Lord May❜r,

Sent to the hulks without a single copper,
And not much better wittled nor a pauper!

An hour like this! how softly it recalls

Thoughts buried in the heart, but breathing still !— Fold after fold of the rude world off-falls,

And memory leads us back ward to the rill
Of life, even at its fount: The well-known halls
That echoed to our laughter loud and shrill,

Rise clear before our eyes, and we forget
That we are old, and wearied, and in debt;

Hackney'd in sin, and sunk in sorrow, groping

Round the dark cave of Life, tortured and blind :An hour like this might set the spirit hoping

Some nook of perfect happiness to find,

Some spot where Pleasure's tail was free from soaping,
And all might seize it fast who felt inclin'd:
But hopes like these, though surely very fine,
I fear are only matters of moonshine.

That hour so calm, so silent out of doors,

Beheld me quietly on a bench extended, Listening, amid my brother members' snores,

To speeches which I thought would ne'er be ended, From orators who lavished all their stores

Of eloquence, so wonderful and splendid,
To prove that people grumbled and looked gruff,
Simply because they were not taxed enough.

They proved some other things beyond a doubt
Which ne'er had struck me in that light before;
They proved our debt, which makes some people flout,
Is but a vast addition to our store-

That every guinea we make John fork out,

Just proves that John has got a guinea more;
In short, 'twas quite apparent, from their speeches,
That borrowing only added to our riches:-

A very pleasant doctrine; and we know

That it works well-as witness England's state! See with what zeal we hastened to bestow

Five borrowed millions on the Czar of late; While twenty millions more, well pleased, we throw, To aid the scale of Justice with their weight, And bribe the planter to forgive the pain He feels in giving up the whip and chain!

Bribe ye the tiger in the pathless wood

To lift his murderous paw from off his prey,
And tell him, while his muzzle drips with blood,
What hecatombs to sooth his wrath you'll pay,
Then will the mighty boon be understood,
Which, as the price of Liberty, we pay-
Of Liberty-which, by our hearts we're told,
Is far too precious to be bought or sold.

But planters are but men-and wise ones too;
And their black cattle fetch'd a famous price.
Since buying is the vogue, 'twould meet my view
Of wisdom, and relieve us in a trice,
From half the rascals who have nought to do,

(I've spoke of it to Althorp once or twice,)
If government would give the landlords twenty
Millions, to prove at once that cash was plenty.

Give us the money, and we'll treat the poor

So kindly 'twill astonish you to see them; We'll coop them up in dungeons, quite secure,

And starve, and work, and nearly skin and flay them. For all their woes we'll find an easy cure;

And then, from their dependent state to free them, We'll not insult their feelings, or obtrude

One single sixpence, to procure them food.

No! we will treat them with too much respect

To offer them a groat in their distresses;Perhaps they'll think it hard, if we reject

Their claims, and keep them on their skin-flint messes, Whil'st yet we don't think proper to object

To pay the claims of him who owns the tresses, In which his strength, like that of Sampson's, lay, Which Dalilahs were fated to betray.

But he's a Lord-more eloquent than Cicero-
Modest as Wicklow-and almost as handsome;
(The manly graces, by-the-by, of this hero,

Are fairly worth a mighty monarch's ransom ;)
But when the other sighs, and says me misero,
You can't refuse his sinecure. How can some
Be such confounded niggards, as to grudge
Such pickings to the offspring of a Judge.

But, as I was just going to remark,

When this profound digression led me off,
Taxes and debt appeared the heavenly ark
To bear the Tories through the waters rough.
And well they built their vessel. Deep and dark
Its hold, and with provisions stored enough;
And into it, as wisely was designed,
Went beasts and creeping things after their kind.

Such eloquence! so grand, so grave, so sensible!

Had ne'er before that evening struck my tympanum : Pensions and sinecures were now defensible

By wisdom's rules; and who could think of scrimping`em, When Castlereagh declared 'twas reprehensible

To put the very slightest stay or stint on 'emFor pensions nobly spurned the base democracy, And very seldom left the aristocracy?

Surprised, delighted, held in breathless awe,
By arguments so wonderful as these,

I voted for the Minister: I saw

That taxes were the things to give us ease;
I voted for new pensions-for each law

That kept the people down ;-and, by degrees,
I hoped to rise (oh! what a height of bliss)
Even to the fame and dignity of Twiss.

Or, as my brows were thick and overhanging,
Face gaunt and ugly, and my conscience sleeping,
I hoped that, what with lying and haranguing,
Deceiving, swearing-on and onwards creeping,
By toadying the great, and fiercely banging

The low and helpless-I should soon be reaping
Wealth, rank, and fame-slave parasite and joker,
With scribbler-satirist-a second Croker.
Ambition was my Idol; and I dress'd her

In a court suit, with ribbons clustered o'er : Medals and stars in gay profusion bless'd her, And labels round her neck the image bore "Knight," "Earl," and "Marquis," "Duke "—and I address'd her

With one of these to bless me from her store;
And tremblingly her petticoat upraising,
Gazed on the garter and ne'er tired of gazing.
Garter! which Dukes themselves at distance view
As something they may scarcely hope to wear;
Garter! with which the blest and happy few

Who own thee seem to tread the upper air-
What, to possess thee, would I scorn to do?
What, to enjoy thee, would I fail to swear?
Let but thy glorious cincture gird my knee,
I'll swear, that England's what she ought to be!
That Ireland is well treated-tithes a pleasure,
Taxes a boon, cheap bread the greatest curse !-
I'll swear the house of Lords is quite a treasure
Of wit and wisdom !-that it is the nurse
Of Truth and Liberty !—and that each measure
It takes, proves very clearly that no worse
Misfortune could complete the land's disasters,
Than losing our hereditary masters!

I'll swear

-(Ye Gods! why should I start or scruple At swearing anything?)—I'll swear that Purity Governs elections now, and gives quadruple

Strength to the elector's freedom, and security
From fear or force-as witness how the supple
And sly Sir George, without the least obscurity,
Gained Perthshire by the force of mild professions,
While rampant "Lairds" ne'er headed his processions;

And never drove their tenants, hurry skurry,
To poll against their wishes-no, not they !—
I'll swear that other places saw no flurry,
To force dependents on Election day!-
I'll also swear that I am truly sorry

That deeds like these will quickly pave the way
For that sour drug, distasteful to my palate,
And ruinous to our cause-the vote by Ballot.

And have I then forgot thee all this time,
My Susan, as a prize of little worth;
And have I passed thee in this idle rhyme,
Unnamed amid these denizens of earth:
Have paltry politicians cast their slime

Upon my stanzas, while thy gentle mirth,
Thy smiles, thy loveliness are all past over,
And also how you treated me your lover?

Next morning I approached my charmer's dwelling,
Rapt in high visions of my future days,
When thirty thousand Three Per Cents were welling
Their glorious stream beneath thy sunshine, Haze
And Pride and Glory in my heart were swelling
Love and Ambition pulling different ways-
Hopes high, seat gained, heart clear, and prospects sunny,
A lovely girl-and all her father's money!

A carriage stood before that father's door,
The coachman on the box seemed vastly fine,
Four splendid greys, (I wondered they were four,)
With white rosettes, kick'd up a pretty shine:
The footman's hat was nearly covered o'er

With snow-white ribbons. I could not divine What meant this wondrous shew, and paused a minute To marvel what the d-1 could be in it.

The carriage was quite new and fresh from Leader's,
The pannels brightly glistening in the sun-
Armorial bearings two enormous cedars,

Such as of yore were found on Lebanon ;

And 'twixt the trees, although 'twill shock my readers,
A most prodigious Fig was nicely done:
In short I stopped to marvel when or where,
The Brown's device, the Fig, was quartered there.
And forth into the street a figure floated,

Sylph-like, and all in tears. A bridal veil
Hung loose upon her shoulders; and I noted

That there was rapture in those features pale,
And that her tears were not to grief devoted,
For her glad motions told a joyous tale:
Light, buoyant, as a billow in its mirth,
Forth stept the loveliest girl in all the earth.
And at her side a graceful figure moved

Stately, as lordly lion near his mate :
Hand joined in hand, with looks that told they loved,
They left the house, and in a moment sate,
Gazing upon each other unreproved,

Within that span-new carriage, tête-à-tête.
Crack went the whip, wheels smoke, and off they scour,
With their four greys, at twenty miles an hour.
The devil take all dandies and all women,

For Henry and my Susan were that pair!
There's never any trusting to their seeming,

And foul designs oft lurk 'neath features fair.
Off goes the girl!—and all that set me dreaming-
Her fortune now had melted into air,
And I was left to curse her, the coquette-
A Member-but confoundedly in debt.

And there that thick-skulled blockhead, Mr Brown,
Was standing at the window, pleased and ruddy ;—

I rushed into his presence nearly blown,
And told him that his conduct had been bloody-
Disgraceful; but without or speech or frown,
The monster only whistled Ruddy Fuddy;
And as I waxed still angrier and prouder,
He only whistled Ruddy Fuddy louder.
You told me, Mr Brown, at last I said,
That I should wed your daughter. Let me see
What you will say.

He only shook his head,
Did you not tell me sir, I should be free

And as to you, young man, I'd have ye know,

That if you've paid your way and ta'en your seat, You're a great gainer, even if you forego

My Susan; and to make your luck complete,

If even your Helection bills you owe,

Not nobody can't put you in the fleet;
And so if you're in debt you're like a Duke,
For even upon a writ you can't be took :-

Go forth and prosper. Cheat, and lie, and steal,
You'll be a proper Tory. Conscience fling,
Like a spoilt fig, away; and soon you'll feel,
When you have bawled and shouted Church and King
That you've some interest in the common weal:

Then vote for taxes, pensions, anything;-
And who knows but your fortune may be made,
As First Commissioner of the Board of Trade?-

Your ignorance will raise you to high station, And therefore cherish ignorance, young man ;

Pride also is a great recommendation,

So be as proud and heartless as you can ; Then for the good and safety of the nation,

Delay and drivel on the good old plan—

And as for brains, (I don't mean nothing sinister,) It don't need much of them to be a minister.

L'ENVOY.

And here my task is ended. Heart and lute,
I've cast them like an idle weed away,
And to far other regions turn my foot,

Than those wherein the wreathed muses stray;Well fits it that I make my latest suit,

Well fits it that my latest vows I pay

To the same shrine-(or others holier still)Which bless'd my efforts and supplied my skill..—

Not unto thee, O white-robed Liberty,

Within thy chariot riding-guarded round With Peace, and Joy, and Plenty-at thy knee A young fair child with living roses crowned

Religion named, with white hand flinging free,

Seeds which, in after years, shall clothe the ground
With amaranthine flow'rs-no, cursed and hated,
To thee no vow, no gift be dedicated.—

Nor unto thee, thou placid mother! throwing
Thy rich full bosom open to thy child;
Clasping that other to thy heart and glowing
With the dear love that thrills thy bosom mild;
Sitting beside the rills which freely flowing,
With heavenly murmurs gladden all the wild,
Not unto thee, O meek eyed Charity !*
Shall gift or song be dedicate by me.

But onwards where yon altar fills the air

With a dun smoke from its red smouldering fire,
And dimly through the smoke with awe we stare
On the huge form to which our vows aspire.-
A mitre on its head it seems to wear,

And its red eyeballs dart with ceaseless ire;
Its seat, a pyramid of human bones,
And its hall musical with sighs and groans.

There!-on that altar where a faithful band

Are gathered-and where, foremost of the crew, Two figures with their swords uplifted standTheir right arms bared for murder: and the hue Of blood on their white robes at their command Uprises to the sky a wild halloo

Of blood!the skies are darkened at the word,
But blood is still the cry; Blood! Beresford!
Blood! Blood and Beresford! "Tis on that shrine
This peaceful lay is reverently placed.
Haply in future days this gift of mine,

With Orange garlands elegantly graced,
Shall save me from the rage and wrath divine

Of Beresford, when, for the battle braced,
He slaughters every foe who dares to meet him-
Seven million men-

I wonder if he'll eat 'em?

See the picture of" Charity," by Julio Romano, in the National Gallery.

It was in those happy days of burghal quietude, ere the ancient and exclusive privilege of our Scottish Town-Councils, in selecting the man to "do their errand" in St Stephens, had begun to be demurred at by modern Reformers, that the circumstance we are now about to relate took place. In a certain northern burgh, which it is needless to particularize, an occurrence of a most unusual kind happened upon a certain occasion, being no less than an attempt made by a rival house of considerable influence in the neighbourhood to supplant the honourable member whose family had for many generations represented the political concerns of the Magistrates, in the affections of that worthy body. Such a thing had never been heard of before :-it was almost incredible; and, what was still more marvellous, the attempt seemed likely to prove successful! In this perilous dilemma, the friends of the old cause, it may be imagined, found it necessary to

make efforts such as it had never been found necessary to make before. The honest electors were plied with persuasives of all sorts to retain them to their ancient faith, on the one hand, and with equal zeal and liberality to divorce them from it, on the other; so that, between the two, the corruption of their natures was sorely tried, and, like ancient Pistol, they began "to dream of Africa and golden joys." Amongst the rest, a worthy bailie, a ship-chandler, bethought him (before giving the irrevocable promise) of the propriety of asking the advice of "their auld member" relative to the disposal of his only son, Jock, in the world. Jock was now verging on man's estate, and great had the anxiety of the parental bosom long been as to "what trade he should be bred up to." He shewed no predilection for any of the learned professions, and although free from any evil propensities, he had acquired habits of indolence,

was

from being allowed to hang on about home so long, that alarmed the worthy chandler with the fear of his son turning out that most disreputable and worthless of all characters to a father's eyes in Scotland, an "idle Ne'er-doweel." At the present juncture, therefore, he thought it would not be making too much of the Member's profuse protestations of esteem and proffers of friendship were he to ask his assistance in getting Jock into "some bit place about Lunnon, or maybe in the Ingies." At the next canvass visit, accordingly, the subject broached; and, as promises cost nothing, at least in the meantime, the whole affair was settled in five minutes. Jock, it was advised, should apply himself anew to his penmanship and arithmetic, and his honourable patron, provided always he succeeded in being re-elected, would speedily put him in a way to turn these accomplishments to a profitable account. Elated beyond measure at the assurance of the honour- | able candidate, the honest bailie now exerted himself with heart, tongue, and pen in his favour. The day was gained; a glorious feast at the M. P.'s expense crowned their labours ; and when the overjoyed bailie, at parting, "hoped (with tears of maudlin affection) that his Honour wudna forget yon affair o' puir Jock's," his "Honour" declared, upon his honour, with an affectionate squeeze of the hand, that he would not enjoy a night's sound sleep "till that amiable and promising young man was placed in a situation befitting his extraordinary talents."

Jock was accordingly sent off to school again. No time was to be lost; and a new development in his idiosyncrasy gave the happy father a prophetic foretaste of his son's future greatness. This was the extraordinary aptitude with which he mastered the rules of addition and multiplication, as compared with his progress in division and subtraction. But he had time enough to acquire them all, without any call from the metropolis to assume the livery of his Majesty. The bailie at last grew impatient, and sent a respectful note of remembrance-a step which he ventured on the more readily, that he knew there would be no postage to pay whatever answer might be returned. The honourable Member did not avail himself of his senatorial privilege at all. But even the failure of a second and third application alarmed not the worthy bailie. The Member for a royal burgh of such consequence must have so very many things of importance to think about; and it was at last thought advisable that Jock should make the next application in person. He was accordingly rigged out; a steerage berth was procured on board a "sma' tredder," for five shillings; other five shillings, secured in a spleuchan, was deposited with great care in a breast-pocket of his waistcoat by his father, and a Bible in his coatpocket by his mother, and thus was Jock shipped off for the London market, along with a cargo of butter and Finnan haddocks. On his arrival in the metropolis, Jock proceeded at once to the object of his journey, and, after some difficulty,

VOL. I.-NO. XI.

he found out the Member's residence in one of the squares at the "West End." Without a moment's hesitation he applied himself to the huge knocker, with an energy that, in a trice, brought to the door a personage covered from head to foot with powder and lace, and who, seeing Jock's mean appearance, demanded of him, in a voice of thunder, and with a stare intended to annihilate him, who the devil he was, and what he meant by disturbing the family in that manner?

"Ou, nae disturbance meant ava, man," said Jock, being one of those happily-constituted beings who, when bent on any purpose, are perfectly impregnable to everything of the nature of a rebuff" I mean nae disturbance ava, man ; I'm just wanting a word or twa o' his Honour, if he be to be seen."

"You can't see him just now; he is dressing." "Ou, am in nae hurry, I can bide a gliff," replied Jock, stepping through the half-shut door into the lobby ere the servant was aware, "6 I'll just wait here till his Honour's ready," continued Jock, seating himself on an empty chair," and troth I'll be thankfu' for a bit rest; its nae short way frae the shippies to here."

"But what is it, sir, you can possibly have to say to his Honour?"

"We ken that best oursels, la-athie," replied Jock, with imperturbable coolness; "his Honour expecs me, man. Sae, ye'll jeest tell him, if ye like, that Jock Chalmers, the son o' Bailie Chalmers, o' the Aultoun 's here waiting for him." This explanation altered the appearance of matters materially; and Jock was ushered into the upper servant's hall, where about a dozen of male and female domestics were discussing their morning's meal. These personages could not, for civility's sake, but ask Jock to participate; and he accepted the offer as frankly as it was given.—“ No, but he had gotten a sort o' breakfast afore he left the bit schooner; but it was a gey bittock since, and, at ony rate, he aye liked to be neeborly." So saying, he fell to with a vigour which bespoke at once the enviable keen. ness of his appetite and the earnestness of his disposition not to appear singular. Jock was still agreeably engaged in this manner, when his Honour's valet entered to express his master's regret that he could not see Mr Chalmers that morning, as he was just going out on particular business.

66

Ou, nae occasion for regret ava; am no that sair pooshed for time, but I can bide till his Honour comes back." And bide he did, notwithstanding repeated hints as to the propriety of calling back on the morrow, or next day, or the day after that, when his Honour would be at leisure to receive him.

Jock" had nae bias to be daikering through a town where there wasna a kent face. He might lose himsel' a' thegither amang sic crouds o' unco folks: besides he had been tel't that it wasna that canny for a simple body like him, that had a charge (a sum of money) about him, to be gaun glowering at a' the ferlies o' the

3 E

place-sae, he wud jeest keep the safe side o' the door."

Dinner time came, and with it a second message from the master of the mansion, intimating that as he was obliged to proceed immediately down to "the House," he hoped Mr Chalmers would make it convenient to call again next day, or some other day soon.

"Ou, perfectly convenient-quite convenient," replied Jock-" tell his Honour the morn will shute perfectly weel. As I hae waited a day, 1 can wait a nicht tee. I'm no ways pooshed."

As the evening wore on, some of the servants became very anxious in their inquiries as to whether Mr Chalmers had provided himself with comfortable lodgings; kindly offering, if he had not, to recommend him to a place where he would be genteely accommodated.

"Very obleegin', very obleegin' o' ye, indeed," was the answer "but there's nae occasion to put yoursels to sic trouble. I'm really exceedin' comfortable where I am; and, to tell the truth, I'm nae that fond o' venturin' out sae late at een in an unco bit, and wi' sic a charge as I hae about me." So as the servants had no authority to eject him vi et armis, and, on the contrary, had received instructions to treat him with civility, one of them was compelled to surrender up his berth to Jock, who betook himself to rest with infinite satisfaction, and slept perfectly undisturbed by the thousand and one maledictions that were imprecated on his "Scotch impudence" and "Scotch beggarliness," by its usual occupant. Next morning came-but still his "Honour" was invisible. Jock, however, expressed no impatience at the disappointment. "As he was to bide still in Lunnon at any rate, he could wait his Honour's time. Twa days or three wud mak little difference he was nae ways pooshed." It was now found by the inmates of the blockaded, or rather captured fortress, that all their manœuvres were vain. Jock's stolidity, or impudence, for it was hard to say which, was more than a match for all their contrivances to induce him to evacuate his position even for an hour, and it was thought best to come to terms of capitulation as speedily and with as good a grace as possible. He was accordingly honoured with an interview of the great man, by whom he was received most graciously.

"And what may be your views in coming to London, at present, Mr Chalmers ?" asked the M.P., after many kind inquiries about "his worthy friend the Bailie," and other worthy persons and things in the North.

Ou, nae views ava, yer Honour, excep' jeest seeing yersel, ye ken."

"But what is it you propose doing now you have seen me?

"Ou, jeest ony thing yer Honour pleases, ye ken. It's no for me to say what it's to be."

But, I mean to ask, what is it you are fit for?” "Ou, I'm fit for onything, yer Honour: am nae particular as to what it is."

"Surely your father would mention what he reckoned you most capable of doing?"

"Troth, he mentioned naething ava about it, yer Honour, only that you and him had settled it a'atween ye lang syne. But the folks aboot the Aultoun used to say that ye were to mak me a sooperveesor o' exceeze, or a commissioner o' customs, or the like; and there hae been a power o' lair waired on me to ready me for't. I hae been five quarters at the writing wi' Mr Davidson yonner, and twice through Hootton at the nicht schule. It's nae ilka ane that's been that, as yer Honour kens."

The patron now desired to see some specimens of Jock's accomplishments in notation and cali. graphy, with which he expressed himself much satisfied. He then told Jock to remain where he was for a day or two, till it was seen what could be done; and, ringing the bell, desired that every attention might be shewn Mr Chalmers while he stayed in the house.

"I was sure yer Honour wad say sae," observed Jock, when the servant had withdrawn; "yer folk are very ceevil and kind atweel, and were unco pressin' for me to gang an' buird at some gran' hottle or anither, they spak about. But, says I to mysel', his Honour kens better than ye do what gweed manners is, and wad neer forgie me were I to draw up wi' unco folk sae near his ain door. Sae I'll jeest bid yer honour, gweed morning, an' mony thanks to ye."

In two days afterwards Jock was appointed to some subordinate place in the Custom-house. One thing only allayed his satisfaction at this first step towards the prospective commissionership, and that was-the necessity of removing from his patron's house, where he was beginning to enjoy himself much to his content. "His Honour, nae doubt," he mentally ejaculated, "meant a' for his gweed-mony thanks to him. But a day or twa was neither here nor there; he needna hae been sae pooshed."

A few days after being sworn in to his duty as an officer of his Majesty, the arrival of a large East Indiaman in the river was telegraphed, and Jock was sent down to board her, and keep watch until the usual searching into her cargo was made one of his most positive instructions being, that he was on no account to leave the deck, or allow any boat to put off for the shore. On going on board, considerable bustle seemed to prevail among the crew. Some were anxiously spreading some wet sails, as if to dry, over a large bulk of packages that were piled up on the larboard side, and five or six more seemed busy doing nothing in a large boat that lay swinging under the chains on the same side by a single painter. As Jock was noting all these things with an observant eye, one of the mates came out of the cabin, and doffing his hat with a great show of deference, presented "Captain Trickum's compliments, who would be happy if his Majesty's officer would step below and take a glass of wine with him."

"Yer captain's very kind, sir," answered Jock," but if it maks nae difference to him, I wad just tak the drap wine whar I am." The wine was brought accordingly; but many minutes