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Agnosco natos: tumidas sine pondere voces Goddess ! thy sons I ken--verbose and loud,
Drinks the dire draught, and of the doctor dies;
Can charm and conjure up from death no more, Ante alios summa es, Polychasmia, cura So- But more than aught that's marvellousand rare, phistæ:
The studious Soph makes Polychasm' his care; Me tui cæcas vires, causamqne latentem Explores what secret spring, what hidden cause Sedulus exquirit-quo scilicet impete fauces
Distends with hideous chasm'the unwilling jaws, Invitæ disjungantur; quo vortice aquosa
What latent ducts the dewy moisture pour Particulæ fuitent, comitesque,ut fulminis imbres, With sound tremendous, like a thunder-show'r : Cum strepitu erumpant; ut deinde vaporet How subtle matier, exquisitely thrin, Materies subtilis; ut in cusin ininuet se [obellos. Pervades the curious net-work of the skin, Retia ; tum, si forte dator contingere nervos Affects th' accordant nerve-all eyes are drown'd Concordes, cunctorum ora expanduntur hiulca. In drowsy vapours, and the yawn goes rouud, Sic ubi, Phæbe pater, sumis chelyn, harmoni. When Phæbus thus his flying fingers Alings amque
Across the chords, and sweeps the trembling Abstrusam in chordis simul elicis, altera, siquam If e'er a lyre at unison there be, (strings; Æqualis tenor aptarit, tremit æmula cantûs, It swells with emulating harmony, Memnoniamque imitata lyram sine pollicis ictu Like Memnon's harp, in ancient times renown'd, Divinum resonat proprio modulamine carmen. Breathing, untouch'd, sweet modulated sound. Me quoque, mene tuum tetigisti, ingrata, But ob! ungrateful to thy own true bard, Poetam?
Oh! Polychasın', is this my just reward! Hei mihi! totus hio tibi jam stupefactus ; in ipso Thy drowsy dews upon my head distill, Parnasso captus longè longèque remotas
Just at the entrance of th’ Aonian hill;
No draughts nectareous to my portion fall,
Thus the lean Sizar views, with gaze agast, Hand aliter socium esuriens Sizator edacem Dum videt, appositusquecibus frustratur biantem, in vain he grinds his teeth—bis grudging eye
The hungry tutor at his noon's repast;
And visage sharp, keen appetite imply ;
Oft he attempts, officious, to convey
All, all is gorg'd in magisterial maw; Tum demum jubet auferri; nudata capaci
Till at the last, observant of his word,
The lamentable waiter clears the board,
THE HORATIAN CANONS OF
FRIENDSHIP. NAY!, 'tis the same with all th' affected crew But wou'd you crack their windpipes and their Of singing men and singing women too:
lungs, Do they not set their catcalls up of course ?
The certain way's to bid them hold their tongues, The king himself may ask them till he's hoarse; My lord mayor might have govern'd with a wink.
Twas thus with Minum-Minum one wou'd think, 1 Omnibus hoc vitium est cantoribus, inter To ask a song, as kinsman or as friend,
Yet did the magistrate e'er condescend amicos
The urchin coin'd excuses to get off, Ut nunquam inducant animum cantare rogati :
'Twas—hem--the devil take this whoreson cough. Injussi nunquam desistant. Sardus habebat Ille Tigellius hoc. Cæsar, qui cogere posset,
But wait awhile, and catch him in the glee, Si peteret per amicitiam patris atque suam, non
He'd roar the Lion* in the lowest key, Quidquam proficerét: si collibuisset, ab ovo
Or strain the Morning Lark + quite up to G. Usque ad mala iteraret, Io Bacche ! modo summa
• The Lion's song, ip Pyramus and Thisbe, Voce, modo hac resonat quæ chordis quatuor
+ A song in one of Mr. Handel's Oratorios. ima.
Act Beard, or Lowe, and show his tuneful art
This is a servile selfishness, a fault
Never on Earth was such a various elf, Blind as a poking, dirt-compelling mole,
To all that stains thy own polluted soul, Sometimes, he'd scow'r along the streets like Yet each small failing spy'st in other men, wind,
Spy'st with the quickness of an eagle's ken. As if some fifty bailiffs were behind :
Tho' strong resentinent rarely lag behind, At other times he'd sadly saunt'ring crawl, And all thy virulence be paid in kind. As thơ he led the hearse, or held the sable pall. Philander's temper's violenc, nor fits • Now for promotion he was all on flame, The wond'rous waggishness of modern wits; And ev'ry sentence from St. James's came. His cap's awry, all ragged is bis gown, He'd brag how Sir John* * * * met him in the And (wicked rogue !) he wears his stockings Strand,
How the prince saw him at the last review, To you a friend, and all the human race;
In fruits like these if the good youth excel,
Sift then yourself, I say, and sift again, No foreign cooks, nor livery'd servants nigh, Glean the pernicious tares from out the graing Let me with comfort eat my mutton pye;
And ask thy heart, if custom, Nature's heir,
This be our standard ther, on this we rest,
6 Let's be like lovers gloriously deceiv'd, Yet, strange to tell ! this wond'rous student lay And each good man a better still belier'd; Snoring in bed for all the livelong day;
E’en Celia's wart Strephon will not neglect, Night was his time for labour-in a word, But praises, kisses, loves the dear defect. Nerer kas man so cleverly absurd.
Oh! that in friendship we were thus to blame, • Bat here a friend of mine turns up bis nose,
And erinin'd candour, tender of our fame, “And you” (he cries) “are perfect, I suppose:"Wou'd clothe the honest errour with an honest “Perfect! not I (pray, gentle sir, forbear)
name! In this good age, when vices are so rare,
Be we then still to those we hold most dear, I plead humanity, and claim my share.
Fatherly fond, and tenderly severe. Who has not faults? great Marlborough had one, The sire, whuse son squiots forty thousand ways, Nor Chesterfield is spotless, nor the Sun.” Finds in his features mighty roorn for praise: Grubworm was railing at his friend Tom Queer, “ Ah ! born” (he cries) “ to make the ladies sigh, When Witwoud thus reproach'd him with a sneer, Jacky, thou hast an amorous cast o'th' eye." “Have you uo flaws, who are so prone to snub?”. “I have—but I forgive myself," quoth Grub. s Iracundior est paullo ? minus aptus acutis
Naribus horum hominum ? rideri possit, eo quod * Nil æquale homini fuit illi: sæpe velut qui Rusticius tonso toga defluit, and male laxus Currebat fugiens hostem : persæpe velut qui In pedo calceus hæret. At est bonus, ut melior Junonis sacra ferrel. Habebat sæpe ducentos,
[ingens Sæpe decem servos: modo reges, atque tetrar- Non alius quisquam: at tibi amicus: atingenium chas.
Inculto latet hoc sub corpore. Denique teipsuin 3 Omnia magna loquens. Modo, Sit mihi Concute, num qua tibi vitiorum inseverit olim mensa tripes, &
Natura, aut etiam consuetudo mala. Namque Concha salis puri, & toga, quæ defendere frigus, Neglectis urenda filix innascitur agris. · Quamvis crassa, queat, decies centena dedisses 6 Nluc prævertamur: amatorem quod amicæ Huic parco paucis contento: quinque diebus Turpia decipiunt cæcum vitia, aut etiam ipsa Nil erat in loculis. Noctes vigilabat ad ipsum
hæc Mane: diem totum stertebat: nil fuit unquam Delectant : veluti Balbinum polypus Hagnæ: Sic impar sibi. Nunc aliquis dicat mihi: Quid tu? Vellem in amicitia sic erraremus; & isti 4 Vollane habes vitia? imino alia, & fortasse Errori nomen virtus posuisset hunestum. minora,
At, pater ut nati, sic noc debemus amici, Mänius absentem Novium cum carperet: heus tu, Si quod sit vitium, non fastidire. Strabonem Quidam ait, ignoras te? an ut ignotum dare Appellat pretum pater : & pulluin, male parvus nobis
Si cui filius est: ut abortivus fuit olim Verba putas? egomet mi ignosco, Mænius inquit. Sisyphus, hunc varum, distortis cruribus, illum Stultus, & improbus hic amor est, dignusque Balbutit scaurum, pravis fultum male talis. notari.
Parcius hic vivit? frugi dicatur. Ineptus, Cum tua pervideas oculis mala lippus inunctis, Et jactantior hic paulla est? cunciunus amicis Cur in amicorum vitiis tam cernis acutum. Postulat ut videatur, At est turculentior, atque Quam aut aquila, aut serpens Epidaurius ? at Plus æquo liber? simplex, fortisque habeatur, tibi contra
Caldior est ? acres inter numeretur. Opinor, Evenit, inquirant vitia ut tua rursus S illi. Hæc res & jungit, junctus & serval amicos
Another child's abortive—he believes
Tenact such laws as must themselves condemn? Nature most perfect in diminutives;
In every human soul some vices spring And men of ev'ry rank with one accord
(For fair perfection is no mortal thing) Salute each crooked rascal with my lord. Whoe'er is with the fewest faults endu'd, (For bandy legs, hump-back, and knocking knee, Is but the best of what cannot be good. Are all excessive signs of q- -ty.)
Then view me, friend, in an impartial light, Thus let us judge our friends—if Scrub subsist Surtey the good and bad, the black and white ; Too meanly, Scrub is an economist;
And if you find me, sir, upon the whole,
By the same rule I'll measure you again,
And give you your allowance to a grain. "Tis owing to his magnitude of mind :
'Tis friendly and 'tis fair, on either hand, Lollius is passionate, and loves a whore,
To grant th’ indulgence we ourselves demanda
You must excuse all those who are awry.
Whoe'er offends, our censure let us guide,
With a strong bias to the candid side;
Rank little foibles with enormous crimes.
You'd be (methink) as infamous an oaf,
In folly and iniquity is he,
Wro, for some trivial, social, well-meant joke,
Who drags up all his visitors by force,
10 If sick at heart, and heavy at the head,
And in the morn, with affluent discharge,
Cætera item nequeunt stultis hærentia; cur non
Ponderibus, modulisque suis ratio utitir? ac res Ah! what unthinking, heedless things are
Ut quæque est, ita suppliciis delicta coercet? men,
9 Si quis eum servum, patinam qui tollere
jussus, 7 At pos virtutes ipsas invertimus, atque Semesos pisces, tepidumque ligurierit jus, Sincerum cupimus vas incrustare. Probus quis In cruce suffigat; Labeone insanior inter Nobiscum vivit ? multum est demissus homo Sanos dicatur. Quanto hoc furiosius atque ille.
Majus peccatum est > paullum deliquit amicus, Tardo, cognomen pingui damus. Hic fugit omnes (Quod nisi concedas, habeare insuavis, acerbus ;) Insidias, nullique malo latus obdit apertum ? Odisti, & fugis, ut Drusonem debitor æris? (Cum genus hoc inter vitæ versetur, ubi acris Qui nisi cum tristes misero renere Calene, Invidia, atque vigent ubi crimjua) pro bene sano, Mercedem aut nummos unde unde extricat, Ac non incauto, fictum astutumque vocamus. Simplicior, quis, qualem me sæpe libenter Porrecto jugulo bistorias, captivus ut, audit. Obtulerim tibi, Mæcenas, ul forte legentem 10 Comminxit lectum potus, mensate catillum Aut tacitum impellat quovis sermone? molestus! | Evandri manibus tritum dejecit : ob hanc rem, Communi sensu plane caret, inquimus. 8 Eheu! | Aat positum ante mea quia pullum in parte Quam temerein nosmet legem sancimus iniquam?
catini Nam vitiis nemo sine nascitur: optimus ille est, Sustalit esuriens, minus hoc jucundus amicus Qui minimis urgetur. Amicus dulcis, ut æquum Sit mibi? quid faciam, si furtum fecerit ? aut si est,
* An infamous attorney. Cum mea compenset vitiis bona, pluribus hisce,
Had many a
Or should be in some passionate debate, 13 With zeal l'll love, be courteous e'en to strife,
AN OCCASIONAL PROLOGUE AND EPILOGUE TO What shou'd I do, or whither seek relief,
OTHELLO, AS IT WAS ACTED AT THE THEATRE"Suppose him perjurd faithless, pimp, or thief?”
ROYAL IN DRURY-LANE, ON THURSDAY THE Away—a foolish knavish tribe you are,
7TH OF MARCH, 1751, BY PERSONS OF DISE Who falsely put all vices on a par.
TINCTIOX, FOR THEIR DIVERSION.
Wule mercenary actors tread the stage, That mother of our customs and our laws. And hireling scribblers lash or luN the age, When first yon golden Sun array'd the east, Our's be the task t' instruct, and entertain, Small was the difference 'twixt man and beast; Without one thought of glory or of gain. With bands, with nails, with teeth, with clubs Virtue's her own—from no external causethey fought,
[wronght She gives, and she demands the self-applause: Till malice was improv'd, and deadlier weapons Home to her breast she brings the heart-fele Language at length, and words experience found,
bays, And sense obtain'd a vehicle in sound. [built, Heedless alike of profit, and of praise. Then wholesome laws were fram’d,and towns were This now perhaps is wrong-yet this we know, And justice seiz'd the lawless vagrant's guilt ; 'Twas sense and trutb a century ago: And theft, adultery, and fornication, [fashion: When Britain, with transcendant glory crown'd, Were punish'd much, forsooth, tho much in for high achievements, as for wit renown'd, "For long before fair Helen's fatal charms Culld from each growing grace the purest part,
And cropt the flowers from every blooming art,
Our noblest youths would then embrace the task Hiatus magnus lacrymabilis
Of comic humour, or the mystic masque.
'Twas theirs to encourage worth, and give to bards set the world in arms. What now is spent in boxing and in cards: Bat kindly kept by no historian's care,
Good sense their pleasure-virtue still their They all, goodlack, have perish'd to an bair.
guide, But be that as it may, yet in all climes,
And English magnanimity—their pride. There's diff'rent punishment for diff'rent crimes. Methinks I see with Fancy's magic eye, "Hold,blockhead, hold—this sure is not the way, The shade of Shakespeare, in yon azure sky, For all alike I'd lash, and all I'd slay,"
On yon high cloud behold the bard advance, Cries W******n, “if I'd sovereign sway.” Piercing all Nature with a single glance: Hare sovereign sway, and an imperial robe, In various attitudes around him stand With fury sultanate* o'er halfthe globe. The Passions, waiting for his dread commando Meanwhile, if I from each indulgent friend, First kneeling Love before his feet appears, Obtain remission, when I chance t'offend, And musically sighing melts in tears. Why, in return, I'll make the balance even, Near him fell Jealousy with fury barns, And, for forgiving, they shall be forgiven. And into storms the amorous breathings turns ;
Then Hope with heavenward look, and Joy draws Prodiderit commissa fide ? sponsumve negarit?
near, Queis paria esse fere placuit peccata, laborant,
While palsied Terroir trembles in the rear. Cum ventum ad verum est; sensus, moresque and such we hope to introduce to-night. (light,
Such Shakespeare's train of horrour and derepugnant Atque ipsa utilitas, justi prope mater, & æqui.
But if, thougb just in thought, we fail in fact, Cum prorepserunt primis animalia terris, And good intention ripens not to act, Mutum & turpe pecus, glandem atque cubilia Weigh our design, your censure still defer, propter,
When truth's in view 'tis glorious e'en to err.
I come to speak in spite of suffocation ;
To show the present the age to come,
We may be chok'd, but never can be dumb.
Well now methinks, I see you all run out, dum tu quadrante lavatum
And haste away to lady Bragwell's rout;
Each modish sentiment to hear and weigh,
Of those who nothing think, and all things say. Ignoscent, si quid peccavero stultus, amici : * A word coined in the manner of Mr. War- " Inque vicem illorum patiar delicta libenter,
Privatusque magis vivam te rege beatus.
SPOKEN BY DESDEMONA.
Prodella first in parody begins,
She has a danghter too that deals in lace, (For nonsense and buffoonery are twins)
And sings–O ponder well—and Chevy Chase, «c Can beaux the court for theatres exchange? And fain wou'd fill the fair Ophelia's place. I swear by Heaven 'tis strange, 'tis passing And in her cock'd up hat, and gown of camblet, strange;
Presumes on something-touching the lord And very whimsical, and mighty dull,
Hamlet. And pitiful, and wond'rous pitiful:
A cousin too she has with squinting eyes, I wish I had not heard it”- blessed dame! With waddling gait,and voice like London Cries; Whene'er she speaks her audience wish the same. Who for the stage too short by half a story, Next Neddy Nicely—"Fye, O fye, good lack, Acts Lady Townly--thus-in all her glory. A nasty man to make his face all black.”
And while she's traversing her scanty room, Then lady Stiffneck shows her pious rage, Cries—" Lord! my lord, what can I do at home! And wonders ile shou'd act-upon a stage. In short, we've girls enough for all the fellows, “Why, ma'am,” says Coquetilla, “ a disgrace? The ranting, whining, starting, and the jealous, Merit in any form may show her face:
The Hotspurs, Romeos, Hamlets, and Othellos. In this doll age the male things ought to play, Oh! little do these silly people know, To teach then what to do, and what to say." What dreadful trials-actors undergo. In short, they all with diff'rent cavils cram us, Myself—who most in harmony delight, And only are unanimous to damn ús:
Am scolding here from morning until night. But still there are a fair judicious few,
Then take advice froin ine, ye giddy things, Who judge unbiass'd, and with candour view; Ye royal milliners, ye apron'd kings; Who value honesty, though clad in buff, Young men beware, and shun our slippery ways, And wit, though dress'd in an old English ruff. Study arithmetic, and shun our plays; Behold them here I beaming sense descry, And you, ye girls, let not our tinsel train Shot from the living lustre of each eye.
Enchant your eyes, and turn your madd’ning Such meaning smiles each blooming face adorn,
THE PLAY OF THE CONSCIOUS LOVERS, ACTED FOR "Tis our ambition, and our fame to please.
LYING-IN WOMEN, 1755, IN THE CHARACTER OF
(Enters with a child. ) EPILOGUE TO THE APPRENTICE.
'Er begot thee, has no cause to blush : (Enters reading a Play Bill.)
Thou’rt a brave chopping boy, (child cries) nay,
hush! hush ! hush! A VERY pretty bill-as I'm alive!
A workman, faith! a man of rare discretion, The part of-nobody-by Mrs. Clive!
A friend to Britain, and to our profession: A paltry scribbling fool to leave me out With face so chubby, and with looks so glad, He'll say, perhaps—be thought I cou'd not spout. O rare roast beef of England-here's a lad! Malice and envy to the last degree!
(Shows him to the Company.) And why? I wrote a farce as well as he,
(Child makes a noise again. ) And fairly ventur'd it-without the aid
Nay if you once begin to puke and cough, Of prologue dress'd in black, and face in mas- Go to the nurse. Within !--here take him off. querade ;
Well, Heav'n be prajs’d, it is a peopling age, Ob! Pit-have pity—see how I'm dismay'd ! Thanks to the bar, the pulpit, and the stage ; Poor soul! this canting stuff will never do. But not to th' army-that's not worth a farthing, Unless like Bayes he bring his hangman too. The captains go too much to Corent Garden, But granting that from these same obsequies, Spoil many a girl, --but seldom make a mother, Some pickings to our bard in black arise; They foil us one way—but we have them t'other. Should your applause to joy convert his fear,
(Shakes a bor of pills.) As Pallas turns to feast--Lardella's bier ; The nation prospers by such joyous souls, Yet 'twould have been a better scheme by half Hence smokes my table, bence my chariot rolls. T" have thrown his weeds aside, and learnt with Tho' some snug jobs, from surgery may spring, me to laugh.
Man-vidwifry, nian-midwifry's the thing ! I cou'd have shown him, had he been inclin'd, Lean shou'd I be, e'en as my own anatomy, A spouting junto of the female kind.
By mere cathartics and by plain phlebotomy. There dwells a milliner in yonder row,
Well, besides gain, besides the pow'r to please, Well dress’d, full voic'd, and nobly built for show, Besides the music of such birds as these, Who, when in rage she scolds at Sue and Sarah,
(Shakes a purse. Damn’d,damn'd dissembler l.thinks she's more It is a joy refin’d, unmix'd and pure, than Zara.
To hear the praises of the grateful poor.
THE BENEFIT OF THE MIDDLESEX HOSPITAL FOR