March oe'r the ruin'd plain with motion slow, esteen. WRITTEN IN A LADY'S IVORY TABLE BOOK, 1698. Scrawl'd Scrawld o'er with trifles thus, and quite - Trú tel deth; There, in her own, “For an el breth :" " Here, “Lovely nymph, pronounce my doom !" There, “A safe way to use perfume:" Here, a page fill'd with billet doux ; On t'other side, “Laid out for shoes”. “ Madam I die without your grace"“ Item, for half a yard of lace.” Who that had wit would place it here, For every peeping fop to jeer? To think that your brains' issue is ' it may be justly said, a MRS. MRS. FRANCES HARRIS'S PETITION. 1700. To their excellencies the Lords Justices of Ire land, * The humble petition of Frances Harris, Lady Betty's † chamber, because I was cold; And I had in a purse seven pounds, four shillings, and six-pence, besides farthings, in money and gold; So because I had been buying things for my lady last night, I was resolved to tell my money, to see if it was ‘right. Now, you must know, because my trunk has a 7 very bad lock, Therefore all the money I have, which, God knows, is a very small stock, I keep in my pocket, tied about my middle, next my smock. So when I went to put up my purse, as God would have it, my smock was unripp'd, And instead of putting it into my pocket, down it slipp'd; Then the bell rung, and I went down to put my lady to bed ; And, God knows, I thought' my money was as maidenhead. So, when I came up again, I found my pocket feel very light; But when I search'd, and miss'd my purse, Lord ! I thought I should have sunk outright. * The earls of Berkely and of Galway. H. † Lady Betty Berkely, afterwards Germain. H. Lord ! safe as my גן “ Lord ! madam,” says Mary, “how d’ye do?" “ Indeed,” says I, “never worse : But pray, Mary, can you tell what I have done with my purse?" “ Lord help me!” says Mary, “I never stirrid out of this place !” Nay,” said I, “I had it in lady Betty's cham ber, that's a plain case. So Mary got me to bed, and cover'd me up warm: However, she stole away my garters, that I might do myself no harm. So I tumbled and toss'd all night, as you may very well think, But hardly ever set my eyes together, or slept a wink. So I was a dream’d, methought, that we went and search'd the folks round, And in a corner of Mrs. Dukes's* box, tied in a rag, the money was found. So next morning we told Whittlet, and he fell a swearing: Then my dame Wadgarfcame; and she, you know, is thick of hearing. “ Dame," said I, as loud as I could bawl, “do you ” know what a loss I have had?” “ Nay,” said she, “my lord Colway's © folks are all very sad : For my lord Dromedary||comes a Tuesday without fail.” * Wife to one of the footmen. H. + Earl of Berkeley's valet. H. The old deaf housekeeper. H. Galway. H. || The Earl of Drogheda, who with the primate was to succeed the two earls. H, VOL. XVI. E “ Pugh!” a “ Pugh!” said I, “but that's not the business " that I ail.” Says Cary,* says he, “I have been a servant this five and twenty years, come spring, And in all the places I liv’d I never heard of such a thing.” " Yes,” says the steward, † " I remember when I I was at my lady Shrewsbury's, Such a thing as this happen'd, just about the time of gooseberries." So I went to the party suspected, and I found her full of grief: (Now, you must know, of all things in the world, I hate a thief:) However, I was resolv'd to bring the discourse slily about : “ Mrs. Dukes,” said I, “here's an ugly accident has happen'd out : 'Tis not that I value the money three skips of a louse; But the thing I stand upon is the credit of the house. 'Tistrue, seven pounds, four shillings, and sixpence, makes a great hole in my wages : Besides, as they say, service is no inheritance in these ages. Now, Mrs. Dukes, you know, and every body un derstands, That though 'tis hard to judge, yet money can't go without hands.” * Clerk of the kitchen. H. † Ferris; of whom, see Journal to Stella, Dec. 21, 1710. N. A usual saying of hers. H. « The |