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MEDITATION XV.

BALLAST.

Spithead, May 8, 1758.

NOTWITHSTANDING all this nice apparatus, and royal provision made for the vessel designed for foreign climes, there is one thing absolutely necessary for her safety in the main ocean, among roaring winds, and that is a due weight of ballast. To see such a quantity of gravel, sand, stones, pegs of iron, &c. thrown into the ship's hold, would make an ignorant person apt to conclude, that it must sink the ship, and not conduce to her safety; but, if she were not sunk to a proper depth, she would buoy up on the surface. of the water, and be overset by every gale that blows. Just so, a pressure of affliction is absolutely necessary for the saint in his passage heavenward. If every thing went prosperously on, spiritual pride might buoy up the soul, and expose her to be overset by every wind of temptation; and such winds the people of God may expect below. Indeed, there are causes, manifold causes of humility cleaving to the best; but, before God suffers his saints to be exalted above measure, even through the manifestation of the divine favour, he will let loose the messenger of satan to buffet them, as he dealt with Paul of old.

As the ship sails more safely thus ballasted, though it has a greater depth of water to cut through; so it is safer for the soul to be kept in a due poise of humility and lowness of mind, than to float on the surface, and catch every gale.

Again, it may be necessary sometimes to shift the ballast fore or aft, as the ship goes more or less up."

right to alter her position. Even so, according to our necessity, our afflictions may be removed from one thing, and laid upon another that is dear to us. We may suffer in our estate, or good name; trouble, disease, or death, may be laid on our children, or the wife of our bosom; and we may be afflicted in our bodies, or in our minds, as Infinite Wisdom sees meet; which should silence us under all.

Again, the food that we eat, and the water that we drink, is part of the ballast, and keeps us deep in the water, Just so, our best comforts, at least what we thought best, are often made bitter with some cross. Thus, have not some husbands sharp sorrow from her that lieth in their bosom? Have not some parents much vexation from those whom they have swaddled, and brought up? Therefore, to expect little from the creature, and all from God, is the way never to be dis-appointed, but always at rest.

Finally, here is the crowning comfort, that, as the ballast is turned out, when the ship goes into dock, so, when I arrive at my much-desired haven, affliction shall no more have place in me; then shall I obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall for ev-er flee away.

MEDITATION XVI.

THE MORE WE SEE OF SIN, THE MORE WE SHOULD HATE SIN.

WHEN Israel was in their own land, they were mad on idolatry; but, when forced to sacrifice at Bab-ylon to idols which they knew not, they got such a

surfeit of that sin, that they loathed it ever after. How, then, should I henceforth hate sin, when I see how naked it makes the soul, how it debases even unto hell, how the longer the captive lies in chains, the fetters grow stronger, and the captive weaker; how it kindles hell, scatters brimstone over the tabernacle, makes the language of the pit spue from the tongue, and makes restless in the pursuit of sin; in a word, contemns divine things, proclaims rebellion against Heaven, and wages war against God!

MEDITATION XVII.

KNOWING A SIN TO BE COMMITTED.

Spithead, May 15, 1758.

IN vain, O foolish man! in vain thou hidest thyself, for "there is no darkness nor shadow of death where the workers of iniquity may hide themselves." Hast thou chosen the gloom of night? Well, but night is to God as day, and darkness as the light. Thou didst premeditate the perpetration of thy wickedness, and God is preparing the punishment of thy

crimes.

Lord thy judgments are a great deep, and thy justice shall shine in the punishment of sinners, who shall confess the equity of thy burning indignation. Thus, they who unweariedly blaspheme in pastime and in sport, shall eternally blaspheme in agony and pain. Thus, the unclean wretch, who burns in impure desires, and satisfies his lusts in an unlawful way, shall be delivered to the flames, where the worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. He who will not hearken to God's reproof, in the time of his long-suffering,

shall hear when vengeance shall be his garment, and his fury shall uphold him. Thus, the companions of sin shall be the companions of suffering, being bound in bundles to be burnt together. Thus, the adulterers, who know no shame, shall be ashamed, and covered with confusion in that day. And such as now expose their wickedness to some, with impunity, shall be exposed before the great congregation, and shall not be able to hold up their face before the spotless throne.

Then thou, O sinner! shalt be there, and I shall be there. Here I know thy sin, and, if mercy prevent not now, there I shall see thy punishment. How shalt thou wish this day, this night, out of the number of the days of thy years, and not added to thy months! How wilt thou wish darkness to cover it, and a cloud of oblivion to dwell upon it! How wilt thou curse it, when ready to raise up thine everlasting mourning! When thou wast a child, thou couldst not commit this wickedness, and when thou art a man, thou shouldst not; therefore, how shalt thou curse thy manhood, and bewail the riper years; yea, wish that thou hadst been an untimely birth, an infant that never saw the sun! Thy sin is marked in my mournful meditation, in thy conscience which is at work secretly, and in the omniscience of thy tremendous Judge. There will be no want of proof against thee in the day of thy cause; the companion of thy wickedness shall be present, I shall be present, conscience shall be present, when thou appearest before thy Judge, who, being every where present, is the greatest witness of all. There will be no casting of witnesses there; for no false witness can appear at that tribunal, yea, thou thyself shalt never presume to plead not guilty. As sure as thou hast committed

this sin, shall these events take place! And yet, O man! thou art merry in the midst of all thy misery, and observest not the impending thunders that are about to break on thy devoted head. Sin is that poison that makes a man go laughing to death, and dancing to destruction. Then, let my soul weep in secret places for those that cannot pity themselves, nor shew compassion on their own souls, but live in a dream, die in darkness, and plunge into despair.

MEDITATION XVIII.

A MAN OF WAR.

May 16, 1758.

THERE is a great difference between a trading ship

and a man of war. the other for the public good. That neither intends to attack, nor is prepared to resist, if attacked in her voyage; but this spreads the sails, and sweeps the sea, to find and fight the foe; and, therefore, carries along with her weapons of every kind, and instruments of death.

The one goes out for private gain,

Even so, the Christian has another course of life to lead than the worldling, even while sojourning in the world. And, as the ship of war must not traffic from .port to port, having more noble things in view, life and liberty to defend, and enemies to subdue; so, Co no man that wareth, entangleth himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier."

We are never out of danger, while at sea; for, though it be a time of peace, we may be overtaken with a tempest, wrecked on a rock, or sit down on.2

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