on one side first and then on the other side, so that she might watch the effect her presence had upon the people. Oh, there were many observations as she passed along, from all manner of people, such as wine merchants, and potatoe merchants, and fish merchants, and soot merchants; but they were as nothing when compared with the short remarks of the poor who stood in little clots talking one to another, in order that they might see the new Matron march to the workhouse. "She's tall, ain't she?"

"She's long, ain't she?"

"She's got sandles, ain't she?" "She's got stays, ain't she?"

"She's got a donkey, ain't she?"

"Yes, yes, yes," were the answers, when they got nearer and nearer to one another, and talked about the misery of being poor, and the any ways Matrons had of wiping away tears that won't come out of the eyelids, when they joined others and got all together at the entrance to the workhouse, so that they might watch Miss Stiff's first step upon the ground which was the property of the poor. Out of the house came all kinds of poor people, afflicted in every conceivable manner, and suffering from all those vicissitudes which are common to the children of poverty. Some rested upon plain deal crutches, some supported themselves upon shrunken shanks which resembled crutches, some held on to wives or daughters; but all of the curiously mixed people were without pockets to their coat-tails, and some of them had not a rag to dig against their eyes when they were foolish enough to lament what they called their destiny. Well then these workhouse men and women stood at the large open gate watching the arrival of the Matron, and as they stood there they held querulous conversations one with another about having a Matron at all over the workhouse; and really it is a good thing Miss Stiff did'nt hear them or they might have rued it for the rest of their days: for even in those days Matrons of workhouses had a slight portion of power, although-thank God-that power was not so great as it is now. The inhabitants of the workhouse stood at the gate; and as it is better to look at them yourself, my own dear reader, do so now-mind this though, they all had a kind of independence upon their faces, which said as plainly as possible, "Though I am a workhouse bird, yet I'm not ashamed of it. No! For I have a right to this kind of treatment, inasmuch as I have worked all my life through for a mere pittance, let those who have benefitted by it-the landowners-feed and clothe me now I am worn out, and have no more work in me."

So said one face, and thus said another-" I was born in this country, can be pressed at any time to fight for this country, and as I can't get work, why this country must and shall support me.'

Then another-“ Here I am in the workhouse. I was rich once, and paid poor rates, and now I receive them back again."

But the chorus of poor faces was this-"They won't let us beg, they won't give us work, so they are bound to and do support us. It isn't our faults, it's the fault of the system-the unequal distribution of wealth-and surely, surely, whilst the rich live in state coaches, and eat peas at ten guineas an ounce, surely they can afford to assist us to a hard mattress and a crust of bread."

"Yes, yes, my good souls," is the eternal answer, "you are well worthy the attention, the kindness, and sympathy of your own blood and sinews-the same piece of elay which forms the whole human race, whether they be as black as hearses, as blue as prize-fighters' noses, or as white as the gentle lily which sleeps beside the oak.”

.. Now, because this appears as clear as noon day to many persons, it is not to be imagined that there are not some who are of a totally dif ferent opinion, and Miss Stiff was one of them; for she thought there was a mighty difference between a sweep and a Lord Chancellor, and a singularly broad line of demarcation, separating the sallow pauper from the tightly-laced Matron of a workhouse; so that when she came up to the wide gate which opened to the house, she went along apparently on tip-toe, and pretended not to see the motley personages round about her. Oh, no, she didn't see them, not she, although it is possible she might have done so if they had all, bent their necks as well as their bodies at the sight of their new mistress; but inasmuch as they didn'tno, thank God, your old pauper felt a certain degree of independence → as they didn't, why she wouldn't see them at all. Miss Stiff marched in a stately manner through them, however, and went straightway to her new apartments, where she received the keys of various closets, had counted over to her a singular variety of oddments, and was put in full possession of those relics which had been in the workhouse since it had been one. There was a huge print of the "Good Samaritan" in a gilt frame, and another of "Our Saviour feeding the hungry multitude.” Then there were four papers full of rules and regulations, a dozen birch-brooms and twenty-four pounds of candles. There were other things placed at Miss Stiff's disposal, in the shape of men, women, and children, who were left to her mercy and kindness; so that considering Miss Stiff was a lone single woman, and hadn't a helpmate, she had quite enough to think about. The paupers-old ones who had been : in for years watched every movement of the new Matron with suspicion, lest she should step over the bounds they had chalked out for her; for, let it be understood, the poor souls under the old system could call Matrons to order if they went out of it; and what they said was sometimes attended to by magistrates. Then, again, husbands and wives had their children by them daily, whilst now, oh, heavens !-is‹ it possible that they can be separated by law now? Let that speak for itself when the time comes, and let Miss Stiff stand at the top of another chapter,

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J

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4

, MISS STIFF TAKES TWO BONES OUT OF HER STAYS. 4

Miss Stiff commenced her duties with wonderful firmness, and attempted to make the paupers shake and shiver whenever she approached them; but inasmuch as they wouldn't tremble, she began to think that some revolutions had happened in human hearts which was perfectly

unaccountable, and not in any way to be understood. What! a pauper to be a pauper and not to tremble at a matron! Oh! the matter was beyond human comprehension; at any rate it was out of Miss Stiff's sight entirely, even with the aid of a telescope; so she thought it was peculiarly terrible, and enough to make the world fly towards the sun with astonishment. Unfortunately for Miss Matron Stiff, she had to deal with a set of paupers who were paupers only in one or two particulars, and were not paupers in others. They were all poor-miserably poor, decayed, forlorn, and, to a certain extent, despised people; they were old and weary, and many of them could not get work, so that they inhabited the workhouse, and in that they were paupers. Being bankrupts, they hadn't too many-no, not half enough-friends or relations; so that they were obliged to eat the bread and meat which was collected from affluent park-keepers, and illustrious duchesses, and money-lending housekeepers, so that in that they were paupers. They had sacrificed nearly all their pride and all their independent comforts when they passed through the gate which led to the large house, and in that they were paupers. But then in spirit, as well as in sticking up for their rights for even paupers had rights they were anything but paupers. No, a pauper supposes a chap who bows his head and says "amento every passenger he meets, as though every person were the parson; and when you talk of a fellow living in a workhouse and possessing spirit, why you can't say he is anything but a spirited pauper, and not what is understood by the cry of, as a queen might say to a bishop, Look there, my lord bishop! look there! Come, be quick, or you won't see it; it's such a curiosity now; there, that's a pauper." Why a pauper supposes an empty thread-paper, or a mint without a bar of gold. These chaps, however--by chaps is meant men, women, and children these chaps, however, were rusty fellows, and not in any way to he trifled with No, they knew what was due to the pauper as well as those who were above them in rank-such as matrons, and so on— knew what was due to them; yes, and they enforced it, too, whenever they had an opportunity: so that it may readily be supposed how Miss Stiff looked and what Miss Stiff thought when she found herself in the midst of a set of independent hornets who were continually thrusting their stings into the very centre of consequence as well as pride and dignity. She was met here, there, and everywhere with "Look at the rules, ma'am" and sure enough, upon referring, she found she was only the servant of a mighty power which told her to be kind and considerate to those who were placed in the parish-not hers, mind that, Miss Stiff -in the parish workhouse. Lord bless you, though it was called a workhouse the poor devils were not expected to work so hard as they do now, but rather went into the place so that they might rest from their labours, and die in peace; that when out of work they might find relief, so as not to be thrust upon the world; that women might be attended to by monthly nurses; and that unnatural fathers might be obliged to support natural children. Yes, the old workhouse was a house of peace where the aged of both sexes were wheeled about in huge chairs by those who were stronger than themselves, and where the whole of the inhabitants cultivated a large garden which surrounded the habitation of poverty. Foreigners came and took back to their own countries

living pictures of English charity, and the whole world reverberated with the tidings; whilst now-but stop! The pen, which is acted upon by the mind, and so becomes a portion of that mind, let phrenologists say what they please to the contrary, cannot trust itself to have printed what it thinks of the present system of Poor Laws. As we get on something must be said, and shall, without shrinking; whilst let this stand for gospel: "If there ever was a damnable stain upon the character of an age, that stain is printed now-ay, it has gone down to posterity, inasmuch as it is done-in tears and sorrows of mothers who have been-nay, who are-separated from their darling infants, whilst a stranger ministers cruelly, by comparison, to their natural wants and instincts. Why, Shakspeare never invented a poem or a play upon an unnatural basis, but here good God!-our legislators have created thousands of real tragedies for which, one day or other, they will have to suffer; for hell may be a perpetual knowledge in an after state of those sins Christians (?) as well as others have committed whilst upon earth. If such be the case, look to it, you hard-hearted and callous vipers, who teach after ages to desecrate your memory, and to abhor your infamous principles, which are thought to be innocent inasmuch as they do not affect or touch yourselves." If you do not think this is true, reader, why there are many poor people who do, so that the balance is right between you; and, after all, it must be admitted that old principles are like old books or pictures, which rest for a time in obscure museums or antique galleries, waiting their time to come forth again with fresh enthusiasm and renewed admiration of their fitness, in spite of the Goths, and Vandals, and devils, who fill up twenty years or so with fictitious doctrines, of which posterity is lost in wonderment and surprise at their having misled so long. Thank God, two great organs of public opinion, "The Times" and "The Dispatch" newspapers, do not cease their warfare, nor will they until that charity which is inculcated throughout the code of our immortal Saviour shall again bless the poor of the land. Reader! don't forgive this digression, for it is hoped you will not-nay it is meant to be perfectly inexcusable, as it is bold, and it is to be hoped, true.

And that it is true, twenty short years will reveal.

Miss Stiff, however, acted upon the old system, although she was scarcely fitted to benefit the poor in her matronly capacity; but then she had no warrant for harshness, she had no power to make the aged curse her quietly. Oh, no! she simply had to carry out mild principles, so that what she acted harshly it only militated against her own dignity; for the chaps who were in the workhouse soon, very soon, put her upon her proper standing, and took down her height first of all by inches and then by feet. Miss Stiff began by blowing up the paupers most lustily, and telling them they were paupers, until she had it retorted full in her face that she was only a matron, a servant, a menial to a parish, a mere nothing in their estimation; when, for fear of dying from very vexation, she thought how to make them alter their conduct towards her; and after trying a variety of plans, she hit upon the expedient of taking her stays to pieces and extracting from them no less than two of the bones which had associated with the other bones for so very short a period. There is no doubt it was humiliating, very humbling,

and so on; but then she oughtn't to have placed them there; so that it seemed to be no more and no less than a just and proper dispensation of Providence towards her. Miss Stiff put on her stays after they had been altered, and went amongst the paupers, when it was singular to watch the change that had taken place, for she was almost cringing and servile towards those she had played the fine lady over before. Yet it must be confessed Miss Stiff took the bones out of her stays simply because she was obliged to do so, and with such bad grace, that it really appeared she would put them in again one day or other-that is, if she ever had the warrant for acting so. Soon we may see if she does so or

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CHAPTER XXXVI.

THE IRON COLONEL" IS FLOGGED WITH A CAT-O'-NINE-TAILS. `It's a monstrous shame to have left Richard Biddulph in the particularly glorious regiment, which was continually marching about from one place to another, and which was continually being called out to behold man after man stripped of their upper garments in order that they might receive so many lashes. The drummers took it quite as a matter of course, as did the officers, and as did those men whose turn it happened not to be. But then there were the wives and sons and daughters of the punished, who growled a-bit, and said it was a shame that any one connected with them should be served out in so barbarous -they called it barbarous-in so barbarous a manner. As to Richard Biddulph, it cannot be stated how many times he was tied up to the halberts for drunkenness or insolence, as well as a variety of other offences against the military code. He didn't hollow not he or care either one jot for the inflictions, he was so used to it; so that he only drank an extra quartern of gin or two, when he could beg, borrow, or steal it, as soon as he could get out of the hands of the doctor. He stuck to the army just because it gave him so much money daily, but as to dreaming about honour and glory, and fiddle-de-dees of that nature, he cared not one single snap of the finger. If he could have found a service more free, or more jovial, or where he could have got more drink and less work (?), why he would have deserted upon the instant, fearless of all consequences; but then, he couldn't, and really there were others and are others in the army who held, as well as hold, similar opinions. When these scenes of punishment happened-every other day for instance the gentlemen went back loungingly to their breakfasts, and did not allow the scene they had witnessed to disturb in any way their appetite, and more particularly the colonel, who was such an iron, stern, stone-muscled chap, that even if a man died it did'nt make the slightest impression upon his impenetrable constitution. No, het boasted of having flogged more men than any two colonels in the whole British army, and of never having carried his pocket-handkerchief to the place of punishment. He was a man made for a colonel that is, a