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plesof purso-proud citizens, and would. hope I am my father's son; and, by god's: be gentlemen, should be numerous lid, 'tis for your worship, and for your enough in the eastward division of the commodity, that I keep company. I am metropolis ; and it is hardly to be ima- entertained among gallants, 'tis true; they gined that, with such, the vocation of call me Cousin Frank-right; I lend them the muses, or the servants of the drama, when they are spent, must not they strive
monies—good; they spend it--well: But would meet with much patronage or respect. Still less is it to be believed and to whom ? --shall not your worship
to get more ? must not their land fly? that this irritabile genus, by whoin even ha' the refusal ? Well, I am a good mem. the unquestionable prerogatives of rank ber of the city, if I were well considered. and station are hardly acknowledged, How would merchants thrive, if gentlemen should endure with content, or tolerate would not be unthifts ? how could gentle. with equanimity, the overbearing in- men be unthrifts, if their humours were solence of city-pride and pretensions. not fed ? how should their humours be fed Accordingly a war was immediately but by white meat, and cunning second. commenced between the two contend- ings? Well, the city might consider us ing powers of the stage and the city, lants fall to play; I carry light gold with
I am going to an ordinary now; the gal. in the course of which the latter were,
me; the gallants call, Cousin Frank, some without fear and without scruple, held gold for silver: I change; gain by it; up to ridicule, as ignorant, uxorious, the gallants lose the gold, and then call, aping, and conceiteil; and hence the Cousin Frank, lend me some silver. tribe, varying all occasionally in fea- Whytures, but all with the same generic Touch. Why? I cannot tell ; seven score marks and character of Fungoso's and pound art thou out in the cash; but look to Master Stephens.
it, I will not be gallanted out of my monies. But we will now enter upon our And as for my rising by other men's fall, account of the play. Golding and God shield me! Did I gain my wealth Quicksilver, from whom the original by ordinaries? no: by exchanging of gold ? hint of Hogarth's idle and industrious Thired mea
little shop, fought low took small
no : by keeping of gallants' company? no: apprentices seems to have been taken, gain, kept no debt book; garnished my shop, are the two shopmen of Touchstone, for want of plate, with good, wholesome, a wealthy and saving goldsmith in the thrifty sentences : as, Touchstone, keep city. While the one keeps his hunting thy shop, and thy shop will keep thee.-nag, and plays at Primero with the Light gains make heavy purses.--"Tis gallants of the town, the other, less good to be merry and wise. And when I ambitious of these notable distinctions, was wived, having something to stick to, I attends to his master's interest and had the horn of suretieship ever before my shop. The good citizen, who holds dice eyes. You all know the device of the horn, and ordinaries in abomination, thus where the young fellow slips in at the parleys with the more dashing appur- buckall: and I grew up; and, I praise
butt-end, and comes squeezed out at the tenance of his counter.
Providence, I bear my brows now as high “ Sirrah, I tell thee I am thy master,
as the best of my neighbours: But thou William Touchstone, goldsmith, and thou Well
, look to the accounts ; your father's my 'prentice, Francis Quicksilver, and I bond lies for you : seven score pound is yet will see whither you are running. Work in the rear. upon that, now.
Quick. Why, 'slid, sir, I have as good, Quick. Why, sir, I hope a man may
as proper gallants' words for it, as any are use his recreation with his master's profits in London : gentleinen of good phrase,
Touch. 'Prentices' recreations are sel perfect language, passingly behaved; galdom with their master's profit. Work lants that wear socks and clean linen, and upon that, now. You shall give up your Frank ! for they know my father : and,
call me kind Cousin Frank! good Cousin cloak, though you be no alderman. "Heyday, ruffians !--ha! sword! pumps
by god'slid, shall not I trust 'eni? not here's a racket indeed !
trust?" [Touch. uncloaks QUICK.
Probably the character of TouchQuick.Work upon that, now.'
Touch. Thou shameless varlet, dost thou stone, though common enough in itjest at thy lawful master, contrary to thy self, had a reference to some living indentures ?
personage of city consideration, a man Quick. 'Sblood, sir, my mother's a gen- perhaps of sufficient substance and tlewoman, and my father a justice of peace notoriety in his time. We are led to and of quorum; and though I am a conclude this from the statutory words younger brother and a 'prentice, yet I which are continually introduced into
his discourse, and which, no doubt, knight take me in the city-cut, in my were as well recogniezd by the original hand: tear't! pox on't, (does he come :) auditors of the play, as any of Foote's tear't off! Thus whilst she sleeps, I ludicrous imitations half a century
sorrow for her sake,' &c. ago. From the same reason we should
Mil. Lord, sister, with what an immobe inclined to believe that the old dest impatiency and disgraceful scorn do
you put off your city tire! I am sorry to usurer Security was of kin to some
think you imagine to right yourself, in money lending and accommodating wronging that which hath made both you contemporary. Touchstone, the citizen, and us. has likewise two daughters, the elder Gir. I tell you, I cannot endure it; I of whom, Girtred, a proud and ambi- must be a lady: do you wear your quoif, tious minx, is on the point of marriage with a London licket; your stamen pettiwith Sir Petronel Flash, a needy ad- coat, with two guards ; the buffin gown, venturing knight. The father gives us with the tuftaffity cap, and the velvet lace their characters in the following pass- like some humours of the city dames well :
I must be a lady, and I will be a lady. I
To eat cherries only at an angel a pound, “ As I have two 'prentices; the one of good; to dye rich scarlet black, pretty; a boundless prodigality, the other of a most to line a grogram gown clean through with hopeful industry: so have I only two velvet, tolerable; their pure linen, their daughters; the eldest of a proud ambition smocks of three pound a-smock, are to be and nice wantonness; the other of a mo- borne withal : but your mincing niceries, dest humility and comely soberness. The taffeta pipkins, durance petticoats, and silone must be ladified, forsooth, and be ate ver bodkins—God's my life, as I shall be tired just to the court-cut, and long tail. a lady, I cannot endure it. Is he come So far is she ill-natured to the place and yet? Lord, what a long night 'tis ! means of my preferment and fortune, that And ever she cried, Shoot home' and she throws all the contempt and despite yet I knew one longer- And ever she hatred itself can cast upon it. Well, a cried, Shoot home; fa, la, ly, re, lo, la.' piece of land she has ; 'twas her grandmo. Mil. Well, sister, those that scorn their ther's gift ; let her, and her Sir Petronel, nest oft fly with a sick wing. flash out that: but as for my substance, Gir. Bow-bell! she that scorns me, as I am a citizen and Mil. Where titles presume to thrust betradesman, shall never pamper her pride fore fit means to second them, wealth and with my industry—shall never use me as respect often grow sullen, and will not fol. men do foxes; keep themselves warm in low. For sure in this, I would, for your the skin, and throw the body that bare it sake, I spake not truth— Where ambi. to the dunghill. I must go entertain this tion of place goes before fitness of birth, Sir Petronel. Golding, my utmost care's contempt and disgrace follow.' I heard a for thee, and only trust in thee; look to scholar once say, that Ulysses, when he the shop. As for you, Master Quicksil- counterfeited himself mad, yoked cats and ver, think of husks ; for thy course is foxes and dogs together, to draw his running directly to the prodigal's hog- plough, whilst he followed and sowed salt: trough. Husks, sirrah! Work upon that, But sure I judge them truly mad, that now.”
yoke citizens and courtiers, tradesmen and Girtred is an entertaining specimen knight. wei, sister, pray God my father
soldiers,—a goldsmith's daughter and a of the vulgar would-be lady of the sow not salt too. city. She sighs for coaches and fa- Gir. Alas, poor Mill! when I am a shions, stops her ears at the sound of lady, I'll pray for thee yet i’faith: nay, Bow Bells; and, already raised in ima- and I'll vouchsafe to call thee Sister Mií, gination to the pinnacle of her desires, still; for though thou art not like to be a hardly condescends to look upon her lady, as I am, yet sure thou art a creamore lowly-minded relatives. She thus ture of God's making, and may’st, perad. vents her scorn upon her humble sis- venture, be saved as soon as I--(does he ter.
come ?)" « Gir. For the passion of patience, look Even her pains-taking mother, who if Sir Petronel approach ! that sweet, that desires and prays for nothing more fine, that delicate, that for love's sake, than the exaltation of her favourite tell me if he come! O, sister Mill, though daughter, is treated with no more cemy father be a low-capt tradesman, yet I remony. must be a lady: and I praise God my mother must call me Madam. Does he “ Gir. Ay, mother, I must be a lady come? Off with this gown for shame's to-morrow : and by your leave, mother, sakeoff with this gown! let not my (I speak it not without my duty, but only Vol. X.
in the right of my husband,) I must take of life: let your virtue still direct it; for place of you, mother.
to your wisdom I wholly dispose myself. Mrs' Touch. That you shall, lady- Touch. Sayest thou so ? Be you two daughter; and have a coach as well as I better acquainted ; lip her, lip her, knave !
so, shut up: in. We must make holi. Gir. Yes, mother. But by your leave, day.” mother, (I speak it not without my duty, but only in my husband's right,) my coach The marriage of Sir Petronel and borses must take the wall of your coach Girtred takes place; and, amongst the horses."
festivities of the occasion, Quicksilver, The careful father, disappointed in abuses his master, and is turned out
the dissipated apprentice, gets drunk, his eldest daughter's match, determines
of doors. to give his younger to a more homely mate, by whom his hard-earned sub
" Quick. Am I free o' my fetters ? stance may not be so likely to be squan- Rent:
Ay with a duck in thy mouth : and dered in gaming and ordinaries. He
now I tell thee, Touchstoneaccordingly chooses his apprentice Touch. Good sir! Golding
Quick. When this eternal substance of “ Mildred, come hither, daughter : and Touch. Well said ; change your goldhow approve you your sister's fashion ? ends for your play-ends. how do you fancy her choice? what dost
Quick: "Did live imprison’d in my wanthou think?
ton fleshMil. I hope, as a sister, well.
Touch. What then, sir ? Touch. Nay, but nay, but how dost
Quick. “I was a courtier in the Spanish thou like her behaviour and humour ? court, and Don Andrea was my name.' speak freely.
Touch. Good Master Don Andrea, will Mil. I am loth to speak ill; and am sorry of this, I cannot speak well.
Quick. Sweet Touchstone, will you lend Touch. Well, very good; as I would
me two shillings? wish : a modest answer. Golding, come Touch. Not a penny. hither : hither, Golding. How dost thou
Quick. Not a penny? I have friends, like the knight, Sir Flash ? does hé not and I have acquaintance. I will pass at look big? how lik'st thou the elephant ? thy shop posts, and throw rotteni eggs at he says he has a castle in the country.
thy sign Work upon that, now.' Gold. Pray heaven the elephant carry
[Exit, staggering. not his castle on his back.
Touch. Now, sirrah, you, hear you i l Touch. 'Fore heaven, very well : but you shall serve me no more neither—not seriously, how dost repute him?
an hour longer. Gold. The best I can say of him is, I Gold. What mean you, sir ? know him not.
Touch. I mean to give thee thy free. Touch. Ha, Golding, I commend thee, dom; and with thy freedom my daughter: I approve thee; and will make it appear, and with my daughter, a father's love." my affection is strong to thee. My wife has her humour, and I will ha' mine. Quicksilver now turns gallant in Dost thou see my daughter here ? she is complete style. He throws aside the not fair, well favoured or so; indifferent; cap, usually worn by city-apprentices which modest measure of beauty shall not of the time as a badge of slavery, and make it thy only work to watch her, nor sufficient mischance to suspect her. Thou
exclaims, in all the glory of emancipaart towardly—she is modest; thou art
tion, to his mistress, with the spirit of
provident--she is careful. She's now mine: George Barnwell himself,give me thy hand, she's now thine. Work upon thai, now.
“ Sweet Syndefy, bring forth my braGold. Sir, as your son, I honour you ; very, and as your servant, obey you.
Now let my trunks shoot forth their silks Touch. Sayest thou so ? Come hither,
conceal'd : Mildred. Do you see yon fellow ? He is I now am free. Avaunt, dull flat-cap, then! a gentleman, (though my 'prentice,) and Via, the curtain that shaded Borgia ! has somewhat to take to ; a youth of good There lie, thou husk of my envassall'd state, hope ; well friended, well parted. Are you İ, Sampson, now have burst the Philistine's mine ? you are his. Work you upon that, bands : new.
And in thy lap, my lovely Dalila, Mil. Sir, I am all your's; your body I'll lie ; and snore out my enfranchis'd gave me life; your care and love, happiness state."
Like a man of the world, he has Sir Petronel, in his turn, now denow to live upon his wits; and, not nies the gentility of Touchstone's new being very nice as to the means, he son-in-law, The old citizen thus anscruples not to appropriate part of ho- swers him: nest Touchstone's property to his own use. He becomes a partner in iniqui- ship, sir, there are two sorts of gentlemen.
“ Touch. An't please your good wor. ty with Security, the old usurer and
Pet. What mean you, sir ? procurer; and, as ruined men have
Touch. Bold to put off my hat to your generally a practice of clinging to each worshipother, he is found to be hand and
Pet. Nay, pray forbear, sir; and then glove with the worthy knight, Sir Pe- forth with your two sorts of gentlemen. tronel Flash. These two concert to Touch. If your worship will have it so, procure the new-married wife of the 1 say there are two sorts of gentlemen : fatter by a trick; to make over her in. There is a gentleman artificial, and a genheritance for a sum of money, which tleman natural ; now, though your worship Security is to advance, and with which be a gentleman natural_Work upon that,
now." these two adventurers, along with others equally desperate, determine to Sir Petronel carries on an intrigue set sail to Virginia, in the expectation with the handsome wife of the usurer of advancing their fortunes there. Security, and determines to make her The bride, in the mean time, is to be the companion of his voyage. Notsent, with her mother, into the coun- withstanding his jealousy, the old man try on a fool's-errand to her husband's is made, by a feint, to assist in this castle, which is in fact on his back, part of the plot, and all the while imaand thus to be got out of the way till gine that he is only helping to ease the embarkation. Quicksilver's mis. his friend Lawyer Bramble of his tress is likewise to be disposed of; and helpmate. He is even brought to come she is, therefore, preferred to the place fort her when she is about to set off. of waiting-maid to the new-made lady,
" Pet. A word, I beseech you, sir : who gives her the following summary Our friend, Mistress Bramble here, is so of the duties of her post :
dissolved in tears, that she drowns the
whole mirth of our meeting ; sweet gossip, “ Gir. Hark you, good man, you may take her aside and comfort her. put on your hat, now I do not look on you. Sec. Pity of all true love, Mistress I must have you of my fashion now; not Bramble: what! weep you to enjoy your of my knight's, maid.
love? what's the cause, lady? First, be. Synd. No, forsooth, madam ; of yours. cause your husband is so near, and your
Gir. And draw all my servants in my heart earns to have a little abused him ! bow; and keep me counsel ; and tell me Alas, alas ! the offence is too common to tales; and put me riddles; and read on a be respected." book sometimes, when I am busy ; and laugh at country gentlewomen ; and com- The adventurers take a boat with mand any thing in the house for my re- their female, but are overset, and with tainers ; and care not what you spend, for difficulty escape a watery death.it is all mine; and in any case, be still a Quicksilver is taken up at the gallows; maid, whatsoever you do, or whatsoever
upon which one of the spectators obany man can do unto you. Secu. I warrant your ladyship for that.” serves, —
“ O me! a fine young gentleman ! The plot succeeds. Girtred signs what, and taken up at the gallows ? Heaaway her property, and departs full of ven grant he be not one day taken down triumph to the castle of her husband; there. O’my life, it is ominous.” not, however, without being discom
Sir Petronel, whose head is not a fited by the sight of her sister's mar- little disturbed by the fumes of wine, riage with her father's industrious ap- imagines himself cast on the coast of prentice. She exclaims,
France. " Gir. There's base fellow, my father, now: but he's e'en fit to father such
" Enter PETRONEL and SEAGULL, a daughter! he must call me daughter no
barcheaded. more now, but “ Madam, and please you, Pet. Zounds! captain, I tell thee we are madam; and please your worship, ma- cast up o’the coast of France. 'Sfoot, I am dam,' indeed. "Out upon him! marry his not drunk still, I hope. Do'st remember daughter to a base 'prentice ?”
where we were last night ?
Sos. No, by my troth, knight, not I; “Worshipful son, I cannot contahh my. but methinks we have been a horrible while self, I must tell thee, I hope to see thee upon the water, and in the water. one of the monuments of our city, and
Pet. Ah me, we are undone for ever I reckoned among her worthies, to be rememhast any money about thee?
bered the same day with the lady Ramsay, Sca. Not a periny, by heaven.
and grave Gresham; when the famous fable Pet. Not a penny betwixt us, and cast of Whittington and his puss shall be for. ashore in France !
gotten, and thou and thy acts become the Sea. Faith, I cannot tell that; my brains, posies for hospitals; when thy name shall nor mine eyes, are not mine own yet. be written upon conduits, and thy deeds
play'd i'thy lifetime, by the best company Enter two Gentlemen.
of actors, and be called their Get-penny. Pet. 'Sfoot, wilt not believe me ? I know This I divine and prophecy." by the elevation of the pole, and by the al- Meanwhile the undeceived and more titude and latitude of the climate.-See, tified lady returns to her father, who here come a couple of French gentlemen; will not receive her. She thus conI knew we were in France; dost
thou think doles with her maid; our Englishmen are so Frenchified, that a man knows not whether he be in France or “ Gir. Ah, Synne ! hast thou ever read in England when he sees 'em ? What shall i'the chronicle of any lady and her waitingwe do? We must e’en to 'em, and entreat woman driven to that extremity that we are, some relief of 'em : life is sweet, and we Synne ? have no other means to relieve our lives now, Synd. Not I truly, madam ; and if I bụt their charities.
had, it were but cold comfort should come Sea. Pray you, do you beg on 'em then; out of books now. you can speak French.
Gir. Why, good faith, Syn, I could dine Pet. Monsicur, plaist il d'avoir pity de with a lamentable story now; O honc hone, notre grand infortune : Je suis un pauvre o no nera, fc. Can'st thou tell ne'er a one, Chevalier d'Angleterre, qui a suffri lin. Syn ? fortune de naufrage.
Synd. None but mine own, madam, 1 Gent. Un pauvre Chevalier d’Anglewhich is lamentable enough: first, to be terre ?
stol'n from my friends, which were worPet. Ouy, Monsieur, i'l est trop vray; shipful, and of good account, by a 'prenmais vous sçavez bien, nous sommes tous tice, in the habit and disguise of a gentle. sujet d fortune.
man ; and here brought up to London, and ? Gent. A poor knight of England ? a promised marriage; and now, likely to be poor knight of Windsor, are you not ? forsaken ; for hie's in a possibility to be Why speak you this broken French, when hang'd. y'are a whole Englishman ? On what coast Gir. Nay, weep not, good Synne. My are you, think you ?
Petronel is in as good possibility as he. 1 Gent. On the coast of dogs, sir. Y'are Thy miseries are nothing to mine, Synne. i'th’Isle of Dogs, I tell you. I see y'have I was more than promised marriage, Synne; been wash'd in the Thames here ; 'and I I had it, Synne ; and was made a lady; and believe ye were drown'd in a tavern before, by a knight, Syn, which is now as good or else you would never have took boat in as no knight, Syn. And I was born in such a dawning as this was. Farewell, London ; which is more than brought up, farewell ; we will not know you for shaming Syn: and already forsaken, which is past of you.I ken the man well; he's one of likelihood, Syn : and instead of land i the my thirty pound knights.
country, all my knight's living lies i'the 2 Gent. Now this is he that stole his Counter, Syn; there's his castle now. knighthood o' the grand day, for four pound Synd. Which he cannot be forced out given to a page, all the money in's purse I of, madam. wot well.”
Gir. Yes, if he would live hungry a
week or two; hunger, they say, breaks stone The old usurer's helpmate manages walls. But he's e'en well enough served, to get to her husband, and to blind Syn, that so soon as ever he got my hand him as to her departure. The rest are to the sale of my inheritance, ran away from not so fortunate. Quicksilver and Pe- me, as I had been his punk, God bless us ! tronel are taken by the constable be- Would the Knight of the Sun, or Palme. fore Golding, the industrious appren- Synne ? or Sir Launcelot ? or Sir Tristrem ?
rine of England, have used their ladies so, tice, now advancing high in city credit, and an alderman's deputy. He
Synd. I do not know, madam. commits them to the counter, to re
Gir. Then thou knowest nothing, Syn.
Thou art a fool, Syn. The knighthoods pent themselves at their leisure. After now-a-days are nothing like the knighttelling Touchstone of his new bonours, hood of old time. They rid a-horse-back ; the old gentleman thus addresses him: ours go a-foot. They were attended by