thy father perforce, I will render thee again in affection; by mine honour, I will; and when I break that oath, let me turn monster: therefore, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry. Ros. From henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports: let me see; What think you of falling in love? Col. Marry, I pr'ythee, do, to make sport withal: but love no man in good earnest ; nor no further in sport neither, than with safety of a pure blush thou may'st in honour come off again, Ros. What shall be our sport then? Cel. Let us sit and mock the good housewife, Fortune, from her wheel, that her gifts may henceforth be bestowed equally. Ros. I would, we could do so; for her benefits are mightily misplaced: and the bountiful blind woman doth most mistake in her gifts to women. Cel. 'Tis true for those, that she makes fair, she scarce makes honest; and those, that she makes honest, she makes very ill-favouredly. Ros. Nay, now thou goest from fortune's office to nature's fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in the lineaments of nature. Enter TOUCHSTONE. Cel. No? When nature hath made a fair creature, may she not by fortune fall into the fire?-Though nature hath given us wit to flout at fortune, hath not fortune sent in this fool to cut off the argument? s. Indeed, fortune3 is there too hard for nature; Antony and Cleopatra, Act ii. Sc. 12. "Let me rail so high, That the false housewife Fortune break her wheel." he first and second folios transpose these words, and read 4 Cel. Peradventure, this is not fortune's work neither, but nature's; who perceiving our natural wits too dull to reason of such goddesses, hath sent this natural for our whetstone: for always the dulness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.-How now, wit? whither wander you? Touch. Mistress, you must come away to your fa ther. for Cel. Were you made the messenger ? Touch. No, by mine honour; but I was bid to come you. Ros. Where learned you that oath, fool? Touch. Of a certain knight, that swore by his honour they were good pancakes, and swore by his honour the mustard was naught: now, I'll stand to it, the pancakes were naught, and the mustard was good; and yet was not the knight forsworn. Cel. How prove you that, in the great heap of your knowledge? wisdom. Ros. Ay, marry; now unmuzzle your Touch. Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins, and swear by your beards that I am a knave. Cel. By our beards, if we had them, thou art. Touch. By my knavery, if I had it, then I were: but if you swear by that that is not, you are not forsworn: no more was this knight, swearing by his honour, for he never had any; or if he had, he had sworn it away, before ever he saw those pancakes, or that mustard. Cel. Pr'ythee, who is't that thou mean'st! Touch. One that old Frederick, your father, loves. Cel.5 My father's love is enough to honour him 4 The first folio reads perceiveth. The folio, 1632, reads perceiving. 5 This reply to the Clown, in the old copies, is given to Rosalind. Frederic was however the name of Celia's father, and it is therefore most probable the reply should be hers. enough: Speak no more of him; you'll be whipp'd for taxation, one of these days. Touch. The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely, what wise men do foolishly. Cel. By my troth, thou say'st true: for since the little wit, that fools have, was silenced, the little foolery, that wise men have, makes a great show. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau. Enter LE Beau. Ros. With his mouth full of news. Cel. Which he will put on us, as pigeons feed their young. Ros. Then shall we be news-cramm'd. Cel. All the better; we shall be the more marketable. Bon jour, Monsieur Le Beau: What's the news? Le Beau. Fair princess, you have lost much good sport. Cel. Sport? Of what colour? Le Beau. What colour, madam? how shall I answer you? Ros. As wit and fortune will. Touch. Or as the destinies decree. Cel. Well said: that was laid on with a trowel. Ros. Thou losest thy old smell. Le Beau. You amaze me, ladies: I would have told you of good wrestling, which you have lost the sight of. • You'll be whipp'd for taxation. This was the discipline usually inflicted upon fools. Brantome says that Legar, fool to Elizabeth of France, having offended her with some indelicate speech, "fut bien föuetté à la cuisine pour ces paroles." Taxation is censure, satire. 7 Laid on with a trowel. This is a proverbial phrase not yet quite disused. It is, says Mason, to do any thing strongly, and without delicacy. If a man flatters grossly, it is a common expression to say, that he lays it on with a trowel. Ros. Yet tell us the manner of the wrestling. Le Beau. I will tell you the beginning, and, if it please your ladyships, you may see the end; for the best is yet to do; and here, where you are, they are coming to perform it. Cel. Well, the beginning, that is dead and buried. Le Beau. There comes an old man, and his three sons, Cel. I could match this beginning with an old tale. Le Beau. Three proper young men, of excellent - growth and presence ; Ros. With bills on their necks,-Be it known unto all men by these presents3, Le Beau. The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the duke's wrestler; which Charles in a moment threw him, and broke three of his ribs, that there is little hope of life in him: so he served the second, and so the third: Yonder they lie; the poor old man, their father, making such pitiful dole over them, that all the beholders take his part with weeping. Ros. Alas! Touch. But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies have lost? Le Beau. Why, this that I speak of. Touch. Thus men may grow wiser every day! it is the first time that ever I heard, breaking of ribs was sport for ladies. 8 The quibble between bills for halberds, and for legal instruments, occurs in Much Ado about Nothing: "We are likely to prove goodly commodities, being taken up of these men's bills." So in the play of Woman's a Weathercock, 1612: "Good morrow, taylor, I abhor bills in a morning, But thou may'st watch at night with bill in hand." It was the very probable conjecture of Dr. Farmer that "With bills on their necks" should be the conclusion of Le Beau's speech. A soldier was anciently said to carry his bill or weapon on his neck, not on his shoulder. It is the double meaning of bill that leads to the second quibble between presence and presents. Cel. Or I, I promise thee. Ros. But is there any else longs to see this broken musick in his sides? is there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking ?—Shall we see this wrestling, cousin? Le Beau. You must, if you stay here: for here is the place appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to perform it. Cel. Yonder, sure, they are coming: Let us now stay and see it. Flourish. Enter Duke Frederick, Lords, ORLANDO, CHARLES, and Attendants. Duke F. Come on; since the youth will not be entreated, his own peril on his forwardness. Ros. Is yonder the man? Le Beau. Even he, madam. Cel. Alas, he is too young: yet he looks successfully. Duke F. How now, daughter and cousin! are you crept hither to see the wrestling? Ros. Ay, my liege: so please you give us leave. Duke F. You will take little delight in it, I can tell you, there is such odds in the men9: In pity of the challenger's youth, I would fain dissuade him, but he will not be entreated: Speak to him, ladies; see if you can move him. Cel. Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau. Duke F. Do so; I'll not be by. [Duke goes apart. Le Beau. Monsieur the challenger, the princesses 10 call for you. Orl. I attend them, with all respect and duty. a Should we not read "set this broken musick in his sides?" set being a musical term. "The old copies read "man." The alteration was made by umer. The old copy has "princess." Theobald made the correction |