"Sir, if my judgment you'll allow,
I've seen, and sure I ought to know".
So begs you'd pay a due submission,
And acquiesce in his decision.

Two travellers of such a cast,
As o'er Arabia's wilds they pass'd,
And on their way in friendly chat,
Now talk'd of this and then of that,
Discoursed a while, 'mongst other matter,
Of the Chameleon's form and nature.
"A stranger animal," cries one,
"Sure never lived beneath the sun!
A lizard's body lean and long,
A fish's head, a serpent's tongue,
Its tooth with triple claw disjoin'd;
And what a length of tail behind!
How slow its pace! and then its hue-
Who ever saw so fine a blue!"

"Hold there," the other quick replies,
"'Tis green-I saw it with these eyes,
As late with open mouth it lay,
And warm'd it in the sunny ray;
Stretch'd at its ease the beast I'view'd,
And saw it eat the air for food,"
"I've seen it, Sir, as well as you,
And must again affirm it blue
At leisure I the beast survey'd,
Extended in the cooling shade."

"'Tis green, 'tis green, Sir, I assure ye""Green!" cries the other in a fury— "Why, Sir-d'ye think I've lost my eyes?" "'Twere no great loss," the friend replies,

For, if they always serve you thus,

You'll find 'em but of little use !"

So high at last the contest rose,
From words they almost came to blows:
When luckily came by a third-
To him the question they referr'd:
And begg'd he'd tell 'em if he knew
Whether the thing was green or blue.

A

"Sirs," cries the umpire, " cease your pother, The creature's neither one nor t'other,

I caught the animal last night,
And view'd it o'er by candle light:
I mark'd it well-'twas black as jet-
You stare-but Sirs, I've got it yet,
And can produce it."-" Pray, Sir, do:
I'll lay my life the thing is blue."

"And I'll be sworn, that when you've seen
The reptile, you'll pronounce him green."
"Well then, at once to end the doubt,"
Replies the
man, "I'll turn him out:
And when before your eyes I've set him,
lf
you don't find him black, I'll eat him."
He said; then full before their sight

Produced the beast, and lo!—'twas white.

How D'ye Do, and Good-Bye.

One day Good-bye met How d'ye do,
Too close to shun saluting,
But soon the rival sisters flew

Merrick.

your mien

"Where'er I give one sunshine hour,
Your cloud comes in to shade it;
Where'er I plant one bosom's flower,
Your mildew drops to fade it.

"Ere How d'ye do has tuned each tongue
To hope's delighted measure,'

Good-bye in friendship's ear has rung
The knell of parting pleasure!

"From sorrows past, my chemic skill
Draws smiles of consolation;
While you, from present joys, distil
The tears of separation."

Good-bye replied, "Your statement's true,
And well your cause you've pleaded;
But pray, who'd think of How d'ye do,
Unless Good-bye preceded?

"Without my prior influence,
Could yours have ever flourish'd ?
And can your hand one flower dispense,
But those my tears have nourish'd?
"How oft,-if at the court of love
Concealment is the fashion,—
When How d'ye do has fail'd to move,
Good-bye reveals the passion?
"How oft, when Cupid's fires decline,-
As every heart remembers,-
One sigh of mine, and only mine,
Revives the dying embers,-
"Go, bid the timid lover choose,
And I'll resign my charter,
If he for ten kind How d'ye do's,

One kind Good-bye would barter!

"From love and friendship's kindred source
We both derive existence;

And they would both lose half their force,
Without one joint assistance.

""Tis well the world our merit knows,
Since time, there's no denying,
One half in How d'ye doing goes,
And t'other in Good-byeing."

The Three Black Crows.

Anon.

Two honest tradesmen, meeting in the strand,
One took the other briskly by the hand;
"Hark ye," said he, " "Tis an odd story this
About the crows !"" I don't know what it is;"
Replied his friend-"No! I'm surprised at that--
Where I come from, it is the common chat;
But you shall hear an odd affair indeed!
And that it happen'd they are all agreed:
Not to detain you from a thing so strange,
A gentleman, who lives not far from 'Change,
This week, in short, as all the Alley knows, bo
Taking a vomit, threw up Three Black Crows!"
"Impossible 139 "Nay, but 'tis really true?

I had it from good hands, and so may you,

32

"From whose, I pray ?" So having named the man, Straight to inquire his curious comrade ran. "Sir, did you tell"relating the affair,

Yes, Sir, I did; and if 'tis worth your care, 'Twas Mr."Such-a-one," who told it me; But, by the bye, 'Twas Two black crows, not Three!” Resolved to trace so wondrous an event, Quick to the third, the virtuoso went. "Sir”—and so forth-" Why, yes; the thing is fact, Though in regard to number not exact: It was not Two black crows, 'twas only One, The truth of that you may depend upon : The gentleman himself told me the case," "Where may I find him?"—" Why, in"-such a place. Away he went; and, having found him out, "Sir, be so good as to resolve a doubt.". Then to his last informant he referr'd,

"Not I”

And begg❜d to know, if true what he had heard;
"Did you, Sir, throw up a black crow ?".
"Bless me!-how people propagate a lie!

[One;

Black crows have been thrown up, Three, Two, and
And here, I find, all comes at last to None!
Did you say nothing of a crow at all?”.
"Crow-crow-perhaps I might, now I recall
The matter over. "And pray, Sir, what was't?"
Why, I was horrid sick, and at the last,

I did throw up, and told my neighbour so,

Something that was-- as black, Sir, as a crow."

Dr. Byrom.

Queen Mab.

Oh, then, I see Queen Mab has been with you,
She is the fancy's midwife and she comes
In shape no bigger than an agate-stone
On the fore-finger of an alderman,
Drawn with a team of little atomies, "
Athwart men's noses, as they lie asleep :"

Her waggon-spokes, made of long spinner's legs;-
The cover, of the wings of grashoppers;
The traces, of the smallest spider's web;

The collars, of the moon-shine's watery beams!

Her whip, of cricket's bone; the lash, of film ;
Her waggoner, a small grey-coated gnat;
Her chariot is an empty hazel-nut,

Made by the joiner squirrel or old grub,
Time out of mind the fairies' coach-makers.
And, in this state, she gallops night by night,
Through lovers' brains, and then they dream of love;
O'er lawyers' fingers, who straight dream of fees;
O'er courtiers' knees, who dream on courtesies straight;
O'er ladies' lips, who straight on kisses dream:
Sometimes she driveth o'er a lawyer's nose,
And then he dreams of smelling out a suit:
And sometimes comes she, with a tithe-pig's tail,
Tickling the parson as he lies asleep;
Then dreams he of another benefice.
Sometimes, she driveth o'er a soldier's neck;
And then he dreams of cutting foreign throats;
Of breaches, ambuscadoes, Spanish blades;
Of healths five fathoms deep and, then, anon,
Drums in his ears; at which he starts and wakes;
And, being thus frighted, swears a prayer or two-
And sleeps again!
Shakspeare.

Contest between the Eyes and the Nose. Between Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose, The Spectacles set them unhappily wrong: The point in dispute was, as all the world knows, To which the said Spectacles ought to belong. So the Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause. With a great deal of skill, and a wig-full of learning, While chief baron Ear, sat to balance the laws,

So famed for his talent in nicely discerning.

In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear,

And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find, That the Nose has had Spectacles always in wear, Which amounts to possession time out of mind. Then, holding the Spectacles up to the courtYour lordship observes they are made with a straddle, As wide as the ridge of the Nose is, in short, ✅ Design'd to sit close to it, just like a saddle.