Bucket List of an Idiot
Hello, my name is Dominic Harvey and I am an idiot.
Ever since the movie The Bucket List came out in 2008, people have been creating their own lists of things to do before they kick the bucket. Some of the things on these lists look so difficult that I wonder if dying would be a better option than actually ticking off the items. The purpose of these lists seems to be to make the list maker feel like they are doing something more with their life than sitting around writing lists and watching Morgan Freeman DVDs.
I am a paid-up life-member of a place called the comfort zone. People always go on about the importance of getting out of your comfort zone. Not me. Any day I can stay inside it is a good day. All of which makes it a bit odd that I decided to complete a bucket list of my own. Not just any bucket list though. This is a reverse bucket list - a bunch of stuff that I could have happily passed away without ever doing - stuff like getting a tattoo I'd instantly regret, arm wrestling an All Black and being the model for a life drawing class - and I recruited some of my closest family and friends to compile it for me. In hindsight, this was a bad idea. But here it is - my pain, discomfort and humiliation for your pleasure - The Bucket List of an Idiot.
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Go to a gay sauna
Be a life drawing model
Get a bad tattoo
Jump off the tallest building in New Zealand
Learn to meditate
Armwrestle an All Black
Track down my first kiss
Bury the hatchet the big apology
Kiss a celebritys arse literally
Eat at a buffet until I throw up
Stick it all on black
Go pool crashing
Have a midlife crisis get Botox
Run the Boston Marathon
Prank my mum
Ask for a threesome
Do it on a plane
Run the paintball gauntlet
Have a crack at writing erotic fiction
Write a book
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